My Three Girls

My heart has taken some serious blows over the past few days. I have felt defeated numerous times. BUT (don't you love that?... you know that God was in the midst of it all), I had the sweetest prayer time with my girls today. After another round of disciplining in a difficult environment in tears all three girls came to comfort me. I asked them if they wanted to pray with me to ask God for help in our behavior. The older two wanted to. It was the first time I've ever cried while praying and they did too. I"m hoping that there was a genuine brokeness before the Lord for them like there was for me! On that note, I simply want to share a picture of each one of them. For those of you who have been praying for us during our time here at camp, I know pictures help. :)

San Antonio, here I come!

Shortly after I get home, I am turning around and going to San Antonio to go to Beth Moore's Living Proof Ministry Thingie. I don't even know much about the event, but my friend invited me and I said yes. I booked the ticket and joined this group called the siesta fiesta. (that's why their logo is on my blog page.)
Well, they did a spotlight on me and I'm getting really excited to find some refreshment with other women after camp!

Here's the link!!!

New Routine

Well, I remain "unplugged" during their awake time. I realized that I have to check in on my email because that is how I'm paying bills. So, today's new shot at the new routine went well. I guess I'll continue to post at night when I'm not being pulled with the other responsibility that I have here.

I am so sad to say that the main reason I am posting tonight is because Leslie died yesterday. This is a very long, but very well written post. Please pray for Tyson as he grieves the loss of his wife and T.J for the loss of his mother.

Unplugged

A huge part of my frustration here at camp has been that the Internet doesn't work in my room like it does in EVERY BODY ELSE'S. So, with that said. I am going to see how my week 3 goes without trying to walk to another room and post and check in daily.
Campers leave tonight and campers come tomorrow. This past week was great as we finally did the zip line (into a lake) slides (into the same lake) and the blob. Yes, I got injured on the blob. I don't think I'll be doing that one again. We're all over the zip line though.

My heart has been pretty black these last few days. I am in need of prayer. I despise my job and I'm feeling guilty for it. I bought the Children's version of Tom Sawyer to read to them this week. Hopefully during the time I've been spending running off to check email or post, I will choose to read to them and hold them and play with them. Things I typically don't enjoy doing. Please pray that in my efforts to do this, I find joy in the job of it. And that hopefully it won't feel like a job.

So, I'm unplugging in this effort to change how my heart feels about being here and my children's contentment level and their responses to me. Thanks for praying (if you do.)

The Walk to camp

Earlier in our time here, I put a picture of me with the girls in a golf cart. Let me explain. Because we live in the dorm with all of the work crew and summer staff we have two hills to go on before arriving in "camp." With little legs, you never know if they can all do the hike multiple times a day, so we were given a golf cart to take back and forth to camp. Well, randomly my cart disappears, so this is a look at meg on the down hill and the second picture shows what we hike up to get to the building behind the little one in the field. Later, I'll take a picture of where we live so you have a visual :)

Grumpy

Like one of the dwarfs, I could have been named "Grumpy" today. Thankfully, it wasn't like I had a melt-down or major disobedience. It's like the hum-drum of camp just got to me today. People asking, "What did you do today?" Well, it's not like it was the first week. I basically just survived today. Every chance I got, I was like laying down. I just felt so tired. I don't want any more days like that. Whew, that just knocked the fun out of me.

On a brighter note, I did buy a tie dye Young Life t.shirt. I know, I know... I'm probably too old to be wearing tie dye, BUT, at least I'm not wearing a it all bunched up in a pony tail holder in the back, like Megan. That's right. I'm sound asleep and one morning, Meg comes in to wake me up and she's dressed for the day and has her t.shirt pulled tight and bunched up in the back in a stylish pony tail holder. What a sponge. She is watching these high school campers and it is just in her to do what she sees.

So, with all that said. my journey here is starting to feel a bit harder. I have the opportunity to take the girls into Atlanta Sunday if I want to venture off and do it alone. Still praying about that one. That is the day off for a lot of the wives husbands here. So, we'll see. I'll keep ya posted!

Bible Story

I'm so spiritually happy (I guess that could also be described as joyful :) right now! During my reading, I found a verse to teach to my children. I went in to teach it and saw that I had a captive audience ~ So, I then taught them Romans 8 about our two natures. They listened and seemed to understand.

Thank you, Lord for giving that precious moment to me! <><

Equipped

I have in one hand a "rod" and in the other, my bible verse pack. I feel like I can face today with these two things on me always. God was so good to me because in my July 22nd reading today, I am telling you, I easily could be Paul. Here this: Romans 7

v. 15 "I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate."
v. 18 & 19 "And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can't. I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway."
v. 25 "Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin."
8:2 "And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death."

How perfect is that? Also, the Chronicles part of my reading had me claiming:

"He is good! His faithful love endures forever!" 2 Chron. 7:3b

God just met me where I needed to be met to do what I need to do! Here are some pictures from yesterday. The girls are beautiful and "The Mill" is the dining hall where Nick LIVES.

Breaking Point

I should have known. The re-start that I attempted this afternoon didn't work. We went back up to camp and I broke in front of people. So, with humility I post begging for more prayer.
The reason my tears flowed and I had a mini melt down is because I can no longer handle how my children are responding to me. Here's how it went:
Kenna: crying
Me: why are you crying?
Kenna: because I didn't get a lot of dessert.
Me: you didn't deserve any and should be grateful that you got a small amount when you weren't even supposed to get any tonight.
Kenna: but I want a LOT (still crying)
Me: Ok. Now you don't get any.
Kenna: (full on tantrum)

I then, walk her out of the building to explain what she did wrong and why she doesn't get any and why she has to sit in a "time out."

I walk back in to start getting the girls together to leave the dining hall. When this happens next:
Megan: Can I (the two words I have a deep dislike for now) have a lick? (pointing at the left over dessert)
Me: No
Megan: But, can I just have a LICK?
Me: No
Megan: Can I have a lick, only a lick?
Me: (i actually can't remember what happened here, but I know that it when I started crying.... I somehow dealt with her)

After crying and talking with a Mom, and having all the other mom's staring at me asking if I'm okay (where I'm clearly not okay) I regain composure and go to get Kenna out of "time out."
It's time to leave and Megan is being carried to me by someone who says that she was in the back (where she's not supposed to go unless Mom or Dad is with her.) The final disobedience.
I send her for a LONG walk by herself back to the room where I will "deal with her."

This is where I'm stuck. I can't stop crying and my eyes are swollen. I have had the good discipline and hugs and forgiveness and all that with them, but I feel too unstable to go back into camp. This is where I beg for prayer. Please pray that my emotions can be pulled together and that my children will finally start saying "Yes ma'am" every time the first time. I know this is a hard setting to train well. But, this is what I need from them to make it another three weeks. (where dessert is served two out of everything three meals.)

Thanks for reading this far and thanks even more if you are praying!
(this picture was taken yesterday, but it still had the dessert in the face, so I thought it to be appropriate :)

Week Two

I seriously can't comprehend what I'm going to feel like when I'm on Week Four! I'm getting so physically tired! I'm glad to say that we're learning how to fit naps in when needed!

As I write, buses are unloading our next group of campers. So, I'm gearing up for our next week and since we had such a busy week last week, I'm planning to have more down time with the girls. By the end of last week, we were all learning how to help Nick out in the dining hall. I just don't want us to all get in the way.

Well, this is short and to the point. I've said where we are in our stay here, now for my heart. I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. We've been cranky. So, we just napped and I'm hoping and praying that it is exactly what we needed to re-start our day and our attitudes. I do find time to read the Word and get alone with God each day. I know I wouldn't have made it without Him giving me all I need. He is my Sustainer!

That's what it's all about....

Tonight at camp, we said good bye to our first week of 400+ campers. Right before they load up on the buses to go home, Young Life has a "Say So." This is taken from the verse in the Bible that says, "Let the Redeemed of the Lord say so."
Many campers remained standing to hold a microphone and tell us their name, where they were from and that they entered into a relationship with Jesus this week. I cried as they began. In the middle of it, Ashlyn leaned over and told me that she thought it was sad that they didn't accept Jesus when they were children. I explained that not all parents know about it and therefore can't teach it to their children. That is why it is so excited to have a place like YL camp where they might get to hear about a relationship with Jesus for their very first time!!!
It made my heart so happy for my children to watch what this camp is ALL about!

Our free time together as a family today was rich. I feel sustained to go into our 2nd week here at camp!

First Day Six

Well, Meg not only got to the top of the rock wall today to ring the bell. She did it three times in a row!!! She's a stud!

I'm so excited because tonight I got to eat dinner with Nick while some Work Crew girls baby sat all the kids. It was refreshing. And the refreshment is just getting started. I just found out that Nick doesn't have to do anything until 4pm tomorrow. So, when he gets back here tonight (probably around midnight.) We can all sleep in and go into a nearby town or whatever. I'm just excited to have a family morning/day together tomorrow.

I've had some great lessons that the Lord is teaching me.

I'll share one awesome one. Just today I was beginning to get a "woe is me" mentality about living far away from the Assigned Team. I was thinking they had it so much better and I was listing off the reasons in my head that we were getting the raw end of the deal. And the Lord just gently reminded me that He placed me here. Maybe He was protecting me from something in that living situation that would have been way harder for me to deal with. All I know is that trusting Him in EVERYTHING is the only way to process and handle All things.

Thanks for praying. I feel like I'm getting extra measures of those fruits that He so freely gives.

Good night... R <><

Pictures are worth a thousand words

Seriously, if I don't have like a major prayer request to post, I'll just post the pics from our camp happenings! I did want to let ya'll know that Ashlyn did try that Giant Swing the next day. She cried through the whole thing so even if I had a picture to prove it, I probably wouldn't have posted it. She has decided that she hates anything to do with heights.
So the entire time Meg, Kenna and I climbed this rock wall today, Ashlyn kept asking me if there was ANYTHING to do here at camp that didn't have heights involved. Now she (and we) know what she won't like and what the others will.
Oh, I am not good at laying out the pictures with words in the right places, so I will explain that Meg is a perfectionist and she got so mad at the fact that she couldn't do it that she screamed at the top of lungs dangling up top. We told her we'd bring her down and she'd scream harder that she didn't want down- she wanted to DO it. She tried three different times. Her poor muscles had to be so sore. So, here are the pictures that tell more than what I wrote!!!!

Chiggers

Guess that's what the bites on my legs are. I guess they are really bad here this year. And some other people have been getting chiggers, but mine seem to be the worst. To let you know how bad mine are, I almost took pictures. But, it's pretty gross, so I won't.
With that said. I now have the issue of looking gross to people. I want to wear pants, but it irritates them more and makes them itch even more. So, I'm trying to keep a positive attitude with by body partially covered in red bumps.
Thanks for praying!
I hear that we'll actually get to hang out with Nick definitely by the 3rd week if not the 2nd. So, we're on our first Day Five and it's getting difficult for me to really understand what it will look like to do this entire long, busy week three more times.
I'm trying to cram personal time in with the girls still under my supervision. That is usually where I get frustrated. I know I need personal time and the ONLY way to get it is to force them to do something that doesn't require me watching them. So, again, more prayer. I desire to not have to fight the chiggers the entire stay here. May it be that I just learned my lesson to not sit in the grass while my children run around. And may the bug spray work from here on out.

Bugs

Okay, I am starting this post off with my complaint. I have 53 bug bites just on my legs. (thanks to Ashlyn counting them for me :) I am now going to start carrying around bug spray and possibly wear pants when I can stand it!
Other than that little complaint about bugs actually bugging me, I do have a prayer request:
I am already getting tired of the "Can We" questions. There is a lot to do here and I we have only done a little bit. But, once we finish anything, I'm inundated with "Can we go on the slide? Can we go on the swing? Can we go on the zip line? Can we go to the park? Can we play with (insert requested name)? Can we ride in the golf cart? Can we..... ? I think you get the point. It's always. AND THEN, after my answer, it is ALWAYS "Why?" Not, yes ma'am! I'm struggling in the training department. I'm feeling frustration come in with each disobedient action or each disrespectful response. I am in need of extra patience and grace!!!! Here are more pics though. I love that I carry my pack around because it has my camera in it and I am capturing a lot more than I thought I would.
Thanks for praying!!!!

Dare Devils

Words can't express what I feel about Meg and Kenna doing this Giant Swing with me! I'll just post enough pictures that captured it!!! Another great day!

My First Day One

They speak in terms of Day One through Day Seven. So, by the end, I'll be posting:
My Fourth Day Seven!
What an answer to prayer! I am so excited to be here. My children thrive in this environment and it makes my heart so happy. I know this week will be crazy and then we just go into repeat mode and do it three more times. I just wanted to finish my first full day here at camp with Praise to Our God for giving me His Peace and allowing me to enjoy this experience with my girls.
More to come later!
R <><

Road Trip

Well, we left Oklahoma and ate dinner in downtown Memphis at a place called Huey's. Then, we went to Jackson, TN (where Nick lived for three years.) We saw where Nick lived and played!!! That next morning we had breakfast at Casey Jones Village!
































Now, Nick is currently meeting with the new assigned team that will be working together all month at camp. Meanwhile, I'm hanging out at a hotel outside of camp until we move in .... tomorrow morning! Here's what that looks like:

Pros and Cons

So, we leave in 3 days for 33 to 36 days (depending on what we do on the tail end of the trip.) I have explained to only a handful of people what our trip is all about. So, I'm going to lay it all out here!
Being on Young Life staff, Nick has a job to do at one of the camps. He will be working long hard hours in the dining hall. I have heard that he will get up around 5:30 AM and return around midnight!!! I am planning to not see him very much at all. Now, this is really hard because our girls are used to getting ample "daddy-time" in daily!!!
So, while I'm excited that we will not be abandoned for a month, I'm nervous because we will be out of our element and without a father/husband really there. So, this would be a great place for me to begin my "list."
Cons:
Nick not really being there even though he'll be close to being there.
Not having PBS for the kids to go to when they wake up.
(I sit here watching the cursor flash realizing that I have overall fears of the unknown since I've never done this before.)

Pros:
No cooking.
No grocery shopping.
No cleaning.
My kids being saturated with followers of Christ.
Exposure to a world outside of our walls at home!!!
Watching my husband do what he was made to do!!!
Being away from TV (something I was considering unplugging recently.... and, we don't even have cable!)

I am thrilled that I got to go to Frontier Ranch to watch camp happen and know a little bit of what to expect. Now, as we head off to Sharp Top Cove, I'm excited and a bit anxious all at the same time. Where do I even begin in the packing department?

Pictures

So, since I changed up the look of my blog, I haven't added pictures along the side. I'm going to try and get better about putting pictures of my kiddos in my post. After all, that's what most of my posts seem to be about!

Cleaner

So, right after posting about house cleaning, I thought my blog needed some "cleaning" as well. This feels much cleaner to me. Hope I didn't scare any of you away by changing up my look once again!!!