Monday, December 31, 2007


Thank you to those of you that commented on my last post. ALL of what you wrote gives me great practical stuff to chew on for the next time it hits! I don't have much to say today other than that "thank you." I'm grateful to you all for sharing your hearts with me in this struggle.

I'm off to make some pb&j's!!!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

"I'm back in the struggle again"

Sung to the tune of: "I'm back in the saddle again." I keep singing "I'm back in the struggle again." I was freed somewhat from the struggle I've been having in motherhood. Then Christmas hit! I guess it's the aftermath of Christmas. Actually, I don't know what IT is. But, since it's back, I now have to do yet another assessment. Why am I struggling again? Remember on this post how I finally got it because of the book that I read? Well, I don't have short term memory loss. I remember why I'm struggling. It's to refine me. It's to produce within me endurance. But, I can't get out of the miserable ache that creeps up when chaos hits.

What do some of you all do when chaos sets you off?

Thursday, December 20, 2007

"Take the edge off"

I usually hear people say this when they are referring to anti-depressants or anxiety medicine. I believe that the drugs used to treat both of those do actually take some sort of edge of something off, but I struggle with wanting some "thing" to take the edge off of my discontentment or my irritability.

It's a difficult thing for me to confess that I want to turn to a drink or a pill or some sort of numbing device. It's a great thing that I don't turn to such impulses because of God's grace in my life keeping me from giving in to them. I just desire to be at a place where I allow God to take the edge off of my funk. For some reason I just don't believe that He will do it. I know that He freely gives us anything we need to avoid falling into such temptations. But, for some reason I compartmentalize Him in that I don't see Him offering some "thing" for me to take the edge off. My prayer today and in future days is that when I have the desire to self medicate, I will turn in submission to Him and allow Him to do what he wants with whatever edges I'm not happy with at that moment!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Christmas Letter

Wow, doing a Christmas letter is a lot of work. There's the writing it, the printing it, the folding it, the stuffing it, the licking it, the return addressing it, the addressing it, the stamping it and then the PRAYING over it. Because ours this year gave an update on Nick taking a job with Young Life, I have felt a bit of spiritual warfare with the mailing of these letters. My prayer is for God to be glorified as people read what we wrote about our family.

I also have so much praise to offer to God for the stage of life that I'm in this year. As I have posted numerous times before about the process that mothering has been for me, I've realized that part of this "job" being a bit easier is because of having my youngest child be 3 1/2 years old. It has gotten easier for me since my attitude has changed as well. These two things make me grateful to God.

Last night we went to a Christmas program at our church. This is the same program that I grew up going to. I am excited for my children to me making many of the same memories that I made in that very room. Nick and I let them roam around while we had adult conversations. It was so fun to drive home and think about what it is exactly we are giving our children by attending events like that. We are building family traditions that I'm most excited about!!!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

No Power

This ice storm that has hit Oklahoma rather hard left me without power for only 24 hours. At one point, there were 605,000 without power. Now, it's like 400,000. With some schools included in the power outage, it's like no school all week. Fortunately, for us it was only two days of no school and one day without power. And, even then, I had my parents nice, warm house to go to.

But, this whole storm has me thinking about how much our lives depend on electricity. I actually wished at one moment that the entire United States would go without power so we could all simplify our lives. I know, I know....there is a LOT of good that comes from it, but I enjoyed the change of pace and attitude of appreciation that I felt. I hoped that everyone would get that glimpse of the things we take for granted. So instead of really desiring such a thing on all people, I can just share my small story of how good we have it. You should see some of the trees around here. The word I've chosen for it is: horrific. Go see the slide show from one of our local news channels here.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Birthday party hangover!!!

I can't believe how "worked" I feel just from throwing a Birthday Party! My oldest daughter, Ashlyn, turned 7 yesterday! Today the hangover looks like this:

"Can we get onto Webkinz and set up my new pets' room?"
"Can I go to so and so's house?"
"I want another cupcake, cookie, etc..."
"Can we play with the moonsand?"
"Can I start my bracelet craft?"

I'm sure you can identify. It's like after Christmas. I simply want to take a nap when it's all over. But all the gifts and sugar did was ignite something in them to go, go, go!

Then there's the American Girl Doll. So,I gave in to the often requested doll. Ashlyn LOVES her, but so do Megan and Kenna. They want one. They want to play with Ashlyn's. I feel kind of sick and wrong telling my younger ones that this doll is "hands off!" It's a doll! Maybe there is a support group somewhere for mother's of kiddos with American Girl dolls.....Sign me up!

Then I remember the verse to do everything without complaining or arguing. Conviction! May I not complain about the things that feel hard in the moment. I am thankful that we were able to celebrate her life and build such great memories.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Great Song

I once had this on my blog...where each time you landed on my site, it started playing. Now, I prefer that you click on something to even say that you WANT to hear music. So, here's a song I LOVE!!!!

Sunday, December 2, 2007


I've been thinking a lot lately about prayer, fasting and intercession. There are so many needs. I have a list that is so long of requests from dear frineds. It is a joy for me to be in a place to pray for them. The Holy Spirit has been so merciful in reminding me ever so gently about my friends. I also used the idea of hunger to remind me. It's kind of a not-fasting way of using the idea of fasting to commit more in prayer. It has worked for me all week so I thought I'd pass it along. AGAIN ~ this is not fasting nor is it taken from the Bible.

So, when my stomach growls, I think of who it is I've said I'd pray for and do it. I will usually pray for those people until the hunger pains subside. Then I eat. The next time I'm hungry, I do it again. It just helps me to focus and it could train you for your own readiness to begin fasting as a part of your life, when called to.

But I also struggle with having such long lists. They cause me to forget to spend time in simple Praise to God. He longs to be praised! May I suggest Ruth Meyer's "31 Days of Praise?" It is excellent!