Monday, November 24, 2008

Need a Break

Praise the Lord for this new place of life that I am in. I did not need a break from my kids. I went to volunteer at this convention and actually missed my children and the role I play in my home. I desired to be here. I'm glad to be home. I have some insights that I gained along the way. I finished a book and started another. I do have lots in my head and will try to find the time to articulate it all at some point.

But, for now.... I don't need a break and I'm relishing in it!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Needs Vacuuming

My house is in dire need of all day house cleaning and I am noticing it the day before I leave. :(
I will be gone for a week and I am lacking the energy and desire to clean a house that will be demolished by the time I return. Shouldn't I just let it be and have the same load when I return? The dishwater is whirring and the laundry sounds for the day have begun. I just don't think I can orchestrate all the sounds of productivity today!
I remember posting about this last year. I am headed to Nashville with my sister to volunteer for an event that my other sister is working. It is National Youth Worker Convention put on by Youth Specialties! I believe in this organization and always have fun serving, but more importantly, I cherish the time that I get to spend with my two sisters!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Here is a first...

.....posting from my phone :-)
I have been wanting to write about a parenting conference I attended last weekend. It was called, "Scream-Free Parenting." This guy basically told us that we can't be in CHARGE when we're out of CONTROL! Totally true! He really put the emphasis on you, the parent. This is good news to me because that is something I can do something about. We have zero control of the decisions our children will make. Did you hear that? Zero! We do however, have a LOT of influence but they were created with the same free-will that we have. Now obviously there was emphasis on consequences and consistency but realizing that I can't control them any more than I can my husband was a great revalation!

Lastly, I think this guy's ego got in the way. It sure sounds like he is trying to sell something rather be a servant that the Lord uses to get a message out. But other than that it has helped me to not discipline with resentment for their behavior!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Life with an iPhone

I absolutely LOVE the iPhone!!! Ever since I got it though, I am hardly EVER on the actual computer anymore and therefore, my blogging time has just dwindled to practically nothing. I have to actually start up my computer if I want to do such things anymore.

I have noticed that in not having a computer on at home, I have finished ALL my homework in my Bible Study for the last three weeks. That's the exact amount of time I've had this phone. It makes me wonder what else there is in life that needs to be taken out?
So, while people may think such toys are distracting and not all good for you, I have found that it has actually improved my time management.

The thing I'm having the hardest time with is my calendar. Okay, I LOVE actual, physical calendars. I like to draw pretty things and doodle and write organized and highlight and everything on my calendar. Now, i've switched to iCal and I forget to open it each day and look at what I have scheduled. I set reminders, but they only go off once. If it's not at the time that I NEED reminding, then what's the point? So, any suggestions on helping me get adjusted to calendars on computers? I've already fixed the doodling part. I just do that in my journal now and of course that iPhone has an App for that too!

Friday, November 7, 2008


I am realizing that sometimes I don't really have anything worthy to post on a blog but I often post it anyway since it is just an outlet for me. Yet, someone could stumble upon my blog and read the one most recent post and gain an impression of me that is not totally accurate.

How do I always represent all of me in each post? I guess that is not totally attainable. I desire to be an open book. I guess it just goes without saying that there are good days and bad days!

I use this blog for so many things. Sometimes to post for therapy sake. Sometimes it is to let people that live far away to know what is going on in our life (as a family.) And I used it to give updates on my Dad's health after his heart attack. There are times though that I want to use it as a ministry... to offer what I'm learning in my journey with the Lord so others can grow as a result and that God may receive the glory for what He's doing in my life.

Today, I post to say that I am a roller coaster. I love that God is not. I love that I have a place where anyone can land at anytime and hopefully see Christ :)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

My Heart

Life seems to be pretty good. By appearance there would be no real reason to have sorrow. My children are healthy and there is nothing but progression on their report cards. My husband is doing what he was made for in a ministry that he loves. Our life feels as if it's running smoothly.

Yet, I have an ache within that I can never deny or pretend away. I usually say that this is just the Spirit within me preparing me for my real home. I am just an alien here and this is not my home.

But, a further look into my heart reveals that I not happy. My joy has been misplaced. I am not talking about "depression" which I know all too well. I am sharing about this deep within place of my heart that is not satisfied with where I am.

Why is it that we are meanest to those that are closest to us? What kind of power trip am I on that allows me to not display kindness in my face to my children? I am struggling (once again) with the kind of Mother I am. More specifically, the kind of Mother my children see. Because on the inside I feel like I am so much more than what I consistently offer them. This ache is so cyclical. I work hard at teaching, training and disciplining and when I see the wrong choices being made, I feel failure. Inevitably what follows is my desire to "throw the towel in." Why try so hard to teach when they choose wrong anyway?

This yuckiness of motherhood has my heart in a sad and unhappy place tonight.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Espresso at Home

We just ordered an espresso machine to be shipped to us. When we were on vacation, we had Americano's every morning since they had an espresso machine at the cabin. Now (a week later) I'm going through withdrawals. Not really, we just strongly desire to have that in our home. Plus, we aim to not spend any money at coffee shops when we'll be able to make them at home :) so, tonight I've been on-line shopping for the accessories needed for this new barista. I just need to go to Target or something because I keep ending up at sites that sell only the finest. For instance: I'm looking for a tamper which should be around five bucks and I keep finding them except they are like one hundred dollars. So, I have quit for the night. But, I am anticipating a shipment to arrive any day now. Oh, the joys!!!