Although I wouldn't be totally truthful if I said it was JUST today and JUST because of those things.
It allowed for a great intro though. At least, I think it did. Sometimes these blah's that I get can simply come from the humdrum of life. I don't like it one bit, but it's there.
I get a numbness to the uncomfortable parts of life. Actually it's a bit more like robotic than numbness. I feel, therefore, I'm not numb. But I go through the motions without an expression.
I have learned that reacting is just so darn tiring. I'm tired of reacting. In an effort to be more self-controlled, I just do whatever action is at hand without expression or feeling. I stare off in to a distant place and just do the work. It's like I'm just passing the time.
This is terrible stuff to confess, but it's really where I am. The thing I fear most about being in this place is that the light at the end of the tunnel can't be seen.