Thursday, February 7, 2013

I am HEALED! It's a MIRACLE!!!

THREE weeks ago, I went to an appointment with my doctor to discuss possibly taking my other ovary as the EXACT same pain that I have had this entire past year was still plaguing me.  As I drove to the appointment I prayed that God would remind me of everything I wanted to talk to her about.  That I wouldn't get flustered like I normally do when she walks in.  As I was being led back to the room, the nurse told me I would be examined today and would need to undress waste down.  I really don't know why this caught me so off guard, but it did.

So, there I sat about as vulnerable as you can as I waited.  That's when the tears came.  I was sobbing as I started to put words with my feelings in my head.  I knew I wanted to say that I was angry that the pain was back, frustrated by the pain, scared that I would be judged as someone "claiming" to have "back pain" for pain meds, and in dire need of answers.  So, with a face that has been sobbing and wrinkled kleenex in hand, she finally came into the room.  {Oh, and I had prayed between sobs that God would be in that room and would bring to mind all that I wanted to share and that God would give her wisdom.}

One thing I did not ask God for that HE knew I needed was HIS PEACE.  She pulled up a chair and listened and asked questions and talked options and the more and more we talked about the specifics of it all, the more and more we had peace that this described pain wasn't in fact from the endometriosis.  She has even struggled with lower back pain in her personal life for years. Suddenly when we shifted to that, it was like a heavy load was lifted and I felt that we were finally on the right track as we talked about remedies of working out, stretching, taking anti-inflammatories and alternating with ice and heat.  That was one of the main things that clued us in.  Ice and Heat do not alleviate pain from endometriosis and it alleviated the pain that I had.

At this point, I feel HIS PEACE just fall on me.  I'm suddenly "all good" with it and ready to tackle it from a different angle.  No longer thinking about surgery or pain meds.  That's when she says she'd like to pray with me.  

Even now, the tears are triggered as I recall her complete submission to the Lord.  She asked for His Spirit to let her know if there is anything else she can or should do.  She prayed for healing.  That all the endometriosis she knows is there would be healed and gone.  That my one ovary would not cause any problems.  That I would have wisdom as I pay attention to triggers and so much more.  On and on she went as she held me, lifting me up before Our Father.  I am blessed!

I have Peace!

I have answers!

I am loved!

Since that day, the one particular spot in my back that was my problem has not hurt ONE time.  I believe that I have been HEALED.  God completely surprised me with this!  I was hesitant to say anything to anyone just in case the pain came back.  It hasn't and it is time for God to receive the deserved glory for healing me!!!!  I feel so personally and intimately loved by Him that how can I stay quiet about this?

For those of you that do know me and my back pain history, I just want to clarify...I still have a "bad back" :(  It's just in my genes, but the specific pain that I had for over a year that brought me to the two surgeries I had last year, is GONE.  To GOD be the GLORY!  Great and miraculous things He has done!