Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Hot Dogs and Ka-Bobs

Inspiration for finding joy has found me today. Friendly faces fluttered in and out of my home yesterday and joy is once again restored. I'm sure that difficult place I was in is lurking and would love to set up camp in my mind and heart but it is not welcome here.

Meal planning has always been a challenge for me and when I had the idea to grill some yummy ka-bobs for Nick and me for dinner, I knew the kiddos wouldn't like it so much. So, I came up with the idea of grilling hot dogs for them. Once the catchy rhyme played in my head I smiled. Hot Dogs and Ka-Bobs made me smile. Really? Sometimes you never know what will put a smile on a face and some joy restored to your heart, but for today I will relish in it and secretly smile as we eat dinner tonight!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Tick Tock

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

I grew up hearing that.

So, as I've gone to post in my blog lately, I stare at the cursor and eventually just close the screen and walk away. It is sad to me that my knee and this injury/surgery and recovery can cause such a depression within me. I used to love to run. I was outside. I was listening to podcasts. I was moving.

Filling my time doing rides and runs was great for me... for my soul... for my identity. Now I sit wondering what I will do or become if it isn't returned to me. Even cleaning the house, yoga, planting, anything with squatting, kneeling or bending is too difficult for me. So, I'm sitting in this place of identity loss and confusion.

Inspiration has left me. Motivation has vanished. And all too quickly (there's the tick tock) that big yellow bus will no longer come and take my kiddos away. I'll be in this place each day with them by my side desiring adventure and play. I am trying to embrace where I am and live fully and find the thankfulness that I have to give each day. I just needed to write why I haven't been writing.