Monday, May 9, 2011

Tick Tock

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

I grew up hearing that.

So, as I've gone to post in my blog lately, I stare at the cursor and eventually just close the screen and walk away. It is sad to me that my knee and this injury/surgery and recovery can cause such a depression within me. I used to love to run. I was outside. I was listening to podcasts. I was moving.

Filling my time doing rides and runs was great for me... for my soul... for my identity. Now I sit wondering what I will do or become if it isn't returned to me. Even cleaning the house, yoga, planting, anything with squatting, kneeling or bending is too difficult for me. So, I'm sitting in this place of identity loss and confusion.

Inspiration has left me. Motivation has vanished. And all too quickly (there's the tick tock) that big yellow bus will no longer come and take my kiddos away. I'll be in this place each day with them by my side desiring adventure and play. I am trying to embrace where I am and live fully and find the thankfulness that I have to give each day. I just needed to write why I haven't been writing.

1 comment:

Chelle said...

I believe we are similar in the fact when our physical self is out of whack (ie: injured), everything in our lives becomes completely off balance. Praying for recovery, healing, and for the knowledge of God's purpose...even in this :)