Blah

Between this last episode of Downton Abbey, reading through the book of Job and this dreary day where I'm required to stay and wait for a package to be delivered....I'm going to diagnose myself with a serious case of the blah's!

Although I wouldn't be totally truthful if I said it was JUST today and JUST because of those things.

It allowed for a great intro though.  At least, I think it did.  Sometimes these blah's that I get can simply come from the humdrum of life.  I don't like it one bit, but it's there.  

I get a numbness to the uncomfortable parts of life.  Actually it's a bit more like robotic than numbness.  I feel, therefore, I'm not numb.  But I go through the motions without an expression.

I have learned that reacting is just so darn tiring.  I'm tired of reacting.  In an effort to be more self-controlled, I just do whatever action is at hand without expression or feeling.  I stare off in to a distant place and just do the work.  It's like I'm just passing the time.

This is terrible stuff to confess, but it's really where I am.  The thing I fear most about being in this place is that the light at the end of the tunnel can't be seen.