Since I'm an open book, the real deal, extremely (too a fault sometimes) transparent; I used to the think of the idea of "walking on eggshells" as wrong. But this morning when approached by a subject matter that I KNOW can put a halt to the rhythm of our school morning routine I decided that there was nothing more appropriate or right than walking on eggshells!
As I treaded lightly through the minefield of this dilemma, I realized that over the years, wisdom has found me. Ironically enough, smarts hasn't found me as I've spell-checked twice already :)
Please hear me. This is not a prideful tone saying wisdom has found me. Truly it's an "a-ha" moment for me to watch how I respond differently to things because of life's experiences.
My Daddy always told me I wouldn't be grown-up until I ate tomatoes. Well, I eat them now, but I think I've grown up and matured because I'm finally learning from so many battles that could have been avoided had I treaded lightly!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Live Fully
When I wrote about our decision to stay in OK instead of moving to CO I had said that God clearly showed us we were to be here. There was a work that God had begun here on this street and I knew in my heart that God wanted me to listen to Him and be used by Him. I am so humbled as I write this story.
I remember thinking and possibly even saying to Nick that if we are called to stay in OK for my neighbor to enter into a relationship with Jesus, securing a place with God in eternity, then it is worth it! So, as documented on my blog, we accepted the job in December and I had mentally prepared for the years of growing in my relationship and watching for opportunities for God to use me and my life to show her HIM! These things take time, right? .....Yeah, on God's time table. Who knows how many perfectly placed seeds had been placed in her 50 + years of life that brought her to her readiness to call on His name and invite Him into her heart just three days ago!!
In these days following her decision, I have been able to first-hand watch transformation take place. I am so full right now. My life just feels FULL. I am humbled to be in a place where God is using me. Here I was in the midst of some physical pain and out of my routine trying to learn to give thanks in everything and BAM... My neighbor accepts Jesus!
Through this process, I realize how rich in faith I am. How blessed I am for all the flannel graph board stories, sword drills, bible verses memorized, life lessons learned, and 30 plus years of being in a relationship with Jesus. I am rich and I am full. I am choosing to live more fully with thankfulness in my heart. Are you?
I remember thinking and possibly even saying to Nick that if we are called to stay in OK for my neighbor to enter into a relationship with Jesus, securing a place with God in eternity, then it is worth it! So, as documented on my blog, we accepted the job in December and I had mentally prepared for the years of growing in my relationship and watching for opportunities for God to use me and my life to show her HIM! These things take time, right? .....Yeah, on God's time table. Who knows how many perfectly placed seeds had been placed in her 50 + years of life that brought her to her readiness to call on His name and invite Him into her heart just three days ago!!
In these days following her decision, I have been able to first-hand watch transformation take place. I am so full right now. My life just feels FULL. I am humbled to be in a place where God is using me. Here I was in the midst of some physical pain and out of my routine trying to learn to give thanks in everything and BAM... My neighbor accepts Jesus!
Through this process, I realize how rich in faith I am. How blessed I am for all the flannel graph board stories, sword drills, bible verses memorized, life lessons learned, and 30 plus years of being in a relationship with Jesus. I am rich and I am full. I am choosing to live more fully with thankfulness in my heart. Are you?
Monday, March 7, 2011
MRI results are in...
.....As I laid in two different machines that hammered away images that would reveal to the doctor exactly what action to take with my troubled shoulder and knee, I prayed. I told God that I was so glad that He knew exactly what was going on and I took great comfort that the same God that created all the tissue and tendons and muscles and bones in my body was with me in the stillness (but not the silence) of the MRI.
Today, I patiently waited for the Dr. to finally review what was found. I felt like a medical student hearing advanced terminology for the first time and needing to see it all written on a piece of paper. Okay, i don't really know what it feels like to be a medical student in any way at all, but you get the point.
I received a steroid shot in my shoulder today to help with the rotator cuff impingement. After the inflammation is down a bit, with some stretching, hopefully we will kick this bursitis right out of there :) .... maybe swimming will be in my future?
Surgery has been schedule for my knee the week after spring break. We would have done it this week, but I am planning on taking my girls to CO for their Spring Break and I did not want to cancel on them.
So, the specifics: It's a knee arthroscopy with lateral meniscectomy and a chondroplasty. Yeah, I had to google all those words. Basically a short outpatient arthroscopic knee surgery with a pretty good recovery time.... considering I've already been out of commission for six weeks. Heck, what's another month or two?
My attitude and "take" on the report: I'm thankful. I'm thankful for doctors that can actually do something about what I've been suffering from. I will be posting soon about a book I'm reading that is showing/teaching me the importance of thankfulness in EVERTYTHING!!!!
Today, I patiently waited for the Dr. to finally review what was found. I felt like a medical student hearing advanced terminology for the first time and needing to see it all written on a piece of paper. Okay, i don't really know what it feels like to be a medical student in any way at all, but you get the point.
I received a steroid shot in my shoulder today to help with the rotator cuff impingement. After the inflammation is down a bit, with some stretching, hopefully we will kick this bursitis right out of there :) .... maybe swimming will be in my future?
Surgery has been schedule for my knee the week after spring break. We would have done it this week, but I am planning on taking my girls to CO for their Spring Break and I did not want to cancel on them.
So, the specifics: It's a knee arthroscopy with lateral meniscectomy and a chondroplasty. Yeah, I had to google all those words. Basically a short outpatient arthroscopic knee surgery with a pretty good recovery time.... considering I've already been out of commission for six weeks. Heck, what's another month or two?
My attitude and "take" on the report: I'm thankful. I'm thankful for doctors that can actually do something about what I've been suffering from. I will be posting soon about a book I'm reading that is showing/teaching me the importance of thankfulness in EVERTYTHING!!!!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
I Defer
de·fer/diˈfər/Verb
1. Put off (an action or event) to a later time; postpone.
2. Submit humbly to
I just sent an email to the people who run the OKC Memorial Marathon. I am requesting to defer my registration to next year's event. I had an MRI on my knee yesterday and will find out exactly what is going on with it on Monday. I haven't been able to run since the end of January and I have, as the definition above says in #2.... submitted humbly to this.
Defeat and depression are two temptations I'm battling with often as a result of not being able to currently do anything in the physical exercise department. Yeah, it's more than just my knee. I edited the Children's song to apply specifically to my areas of trouble.... It goes like this:
"Neck and shoulder, back and knee, back and knee..." (sung to head and shoulders knees and toes)
I could throw in the past injuries that include the finger and wrist, but who needs to hear about that? All I know is yoga, swimming, biking, walking, running, jumping jacks, or the like are OUT!
So, how am I handling this? Most days, victoriously.
Knowing that this is just a season helps me. This is why I chose to defer my registration. I have my sight set on the future time when my body might be able to be conditioned once again. Until then, I'm trying my best to NOT complain in today's season. So, if you are hanging out with me and I'm quiet.... I'm just choosing to not complain.
1. Put off (an action or event) to a later time; postpone.
2. Submit humbly to
I just sent an email to the people who run the OKC Memorial Marathon. I am requesting to defer my registration to next year's event. I had an MRI on my knee yesterday and will find out exactly what is going on with it on Monday. I haven't been able to run since the end of January and I have, as the definition above says in #2.... submitted humbly to this.
Defeat and depression are two temptations I'm battling with often as a result of not being able to currently do anything in the physical exercise department. Yeah, it's more than just my knee. I edited the Children's song to apply specifically to my areas of trouble.... It goes like this:
"Neck and shoulder, back and knee, back and knee..." (sung to head and shoulders knees and toes)
I could throw in the past injuries that include the finger and wrist, but who needs to hear about that? All I know is yoga, swimming, biking, walking, running, jumping jacks, or the like are OUT!
So, how am I handling this? Most days, victoriously.
Knowing that this is just a season helps me. This is why I chose to defer my registration. I have my sight set on the future time when my body might be able to be conditioned once again. Until then, I'm trying my best to NOT complain in today's season. So, if you are hanging out with me and I'm quiet.... I'm just choosing to not complain.
Monday, February 7, 2011
My REFUGE
Like a journal that was lost or forgotten, How do I even catch this blog up after a month?
It's not that SO much has happened, it's that I've had so much negativity within me, each time I began a post, It came out too "junky" if you will.
Nick has begun traveling with his new job. This is only somewhat of a hardship. I remember having little pre-schoolers with a traveling husband and that was a HUGE hardship. It's nice that the girls are older and it is not as difficult to manage things around here while he's gone. But, it still is a hardship nonetheless.
I've had physical sickness and pains this past month that have me at my whit's end!!!
We have had and will have again snow around here causing school to be closed.... egats! Need I say more about that one?
But I must say that in the midst of all of this, I feel so close to Jesus. He is my true REFUGE. I completely trust that I am right where I am supposed to be and that my current difficulties are hand-crafted for me.
As I've been in Physical Therapy, I see a guy next to me who truly does have it worse than me. But, that doesn't make my "bad" go away. As a matter of fact, ( I know I've posted about this before.... but here I go again) a healthy dose of perspective is good for any or all who will but look. There is a HUGE difference between taking a look to gain perspective and taking a look to compare.
My church just did a wonderful sermon on comparisons this past week. Check it out if you want to here! All of it was so applicable. So, now, in the hard that I've had and the hard I will have, I'm keeping my eyes on Jesus asking Him what I am to learn from it. Who am I to be as a result of it?
It's not that SO much has happened, it's that I've had so much negativity within me, each time I began a post, It came out too "junky" if you will.
Nick has begun traveling with his new job. This is only somewhat of a hardship. I remember having little pre-schoolers with a traveling husband and that was a HUGE hardship. It's nice that the girls are older and it is not as difficult to manage things around here while he's gone. But, it still is a hardship nonetheless.
I've had physical sickness and pains this past month that have me at my whit's end!!!
We have had and will have again snow around here causing school to be closed.... egats! Need I say more about that one?
But I must say that in the midst of all of this, I feel so close to Jesus. He is my true REFUGE. I completely trust that I am right where I am supposed to be and that my current difficulties are hand-crafted for me.
As I've been in Physical Therapy, I see a guy next to me who truly does have it worse than me. But, that doesn't make my "bad" go away. As a matter of fact, ( I know I've posted about this before.... but here I go again) a healthy dose of perspective is good for any or all who will but look. There is a HUGE difference between taking a look to gain perspective and taking a look to compare.
My church just did a wonderful sermon on comparisons this past week. Check it out if you want to here! All of it was so applicable. So, now, in the hard that I've had and the hard I will have, I'm keeping my eyes on Jesus asking Him what I am to learn from it. Who am I to be as a result of it?
God, May I be a wonderful example to all or any that watch what I go through. May your Spirit deliver the patience and strength I need. Thank you for personally loving me. Thank you for being on my side and not against me.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Heaven
When things are hard, I want to go to heaven because I know things won't be hard there. Isn't that, in fact, part of the excitement of heaven? I know that the other part is being with Jesus, worshiping our LORD for all eternity. But when I utter the words, "Come, LORD Jesus" like so many of us do to suggest that we are tired of fighting the fight; I sense that it is a cop out.
Follow me on this. It's important. My desire to go to heaven during difficult times is ultimately saying, "I want out. I choose the finality of my life here on earth."
Now, tucked under the sayings of "I want to go to heaven" or "Come, LORD Jesus" it sounds almost spiritually noble.
I've struggled for years thinking of heaven as a great option. Option? That's not what heaven is. That is me merely not believing that "He, who began a good work in me; will be faithful to complete it." That is me not fighting the good fight. Not shining my light like a city on a hill. Not being salt.
I know that God has made me and uses me daily and has a plan for my life. I have HIS Spirit living within me. But, how dark is it when you face the actual temptation to take your own life? Yes. I am talking about suicide here. Have you ever thought it, wished it, felt it...... actually been tempted by it? How can you be tempted by it if it isn't something you desire?
Well, let me tell you it is very dark to have a temptation like that thrown at you.
I know I'm not alone.
I just want to talk about a dark experience that I once had so that the light is so clearly seen. The "way out" mentioned in 1 Cor. 10:13 can be seen. I was tempted to swallow every pill in my house one time. In that temptation, I wailed out with tears to God. In a fetal position, I cried with guilt that the thought even entered my head. I cried with sadness that many people feel this and actually give in. I knew I wouldn't do it, but to be tempted by it saddened me.
In that sadness, I felt the very LIFE of GOD within me. No wonder people who are not in a living, breathing relationship with Jesus are able to give in to such darkness. Was that one of the darkest moments of my life? YES. But, HE was there. It was GOD WHO held me in that place. I didn't all of the sudden spring up and leap for joy and skip around to face life. I did, however, get up. I blew my nose. I let out another cry at my reflection in the mirror. Then, I thanked God for being there with me in my darkest places.
People talk about the science of light. It is more powerful than dark. Darkness cannot overtake the LIGHT. Well, I was in the darkest place during that moment of temptation and the LIGHT of Christ shined within me allowing me to be led out.
If you've ever been there or are there now and you want me to pray for you, I take it very seriously that there is a much bigger battle going on at that time and I would consider it an honor to fight the battle with you by praying.
Follow me on this. It's important. My desire to go to heaven during difficult times is ultimately saying, "I want out. I choose the finality of my life here on earth."
Now, tucked under the sayings of "I want to go to heaven" or "Come, LORD Jesus" it sounds almost spiritually noble.
I've struggled for years thinking of heaven as a great option. Option? That's not what heaven is. That is me merely not believing that "He, who began a good work in me; will be faithful to complete it." That is me not fighting the good fight. Not shining my light like a city on a hill. Not being salt.
I know that God has made me and uses me daily and has a plan for my life. I have HIS Spirit living within me. But, how dark is it when you face the actual temptation to take your own life? Yes. I am talking about suicide here. Have you ever thought it, wished it, felt it...... actually been tempted by it? How can you be tempted by it if it isn't something you desire?
Well, let me tell you it is very dark to have a temptation like that thrown at you.
I know I'm not alone.
I just want to talk about a dark experience that I once had so that the light is so clearly seen. The "way out" mentioned in 1 Cor. 10:13 can be seen. I was tempted to swallow every pill in my house one time. In that temptation, I wailed out with tears to God. In a fetal position, I cried with guilt that the thought even entered my head. I cried with sadness that many people feel this and actually give in. I knew I wouldn't do it, but to be tempted by it saddened me.
In that sadness, I felt the very LIFE of GOD within me. No wonder people who are not in a living, breathing relationship with Jesus are able to give in to such darkness. Was that one of the darkest moments of my life? YES. But, HE was there. It was GOD WHO held me in that place. I didn't all of the sudden spring up and leap for joy and skip around to face life. I did, however, get up. I blew my nose. I let out another cry at my reflection in the mirror. Then, I thanked God for being there with me in my darkest places.
People talk about the science of light. It is more powerful than dark. Darkness cannot overtake the LIGHT. Well, I was in the darkest place during that moment of temptation and the LIGHT of Christ shined within me allowing me to be led out.
If you've ever been there or are there now and you want me to pray for you, I take it very seriously that there is a much bigger battle going on at that time and I would consider it an honor to fight the battle with you by praying.
Psalm 34:19
"A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;"
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Static cling annoyance!
I was taking down the Christmas decorations and the tree stood waiting. As everything was packed in boxes and waiting for the attic, I turned and faced the tree. I did NOT want to tackle this. I could handle the ornaments if that was all I was taking down but the lights, oh, the lights!!! I watched Nick struggle work to put all those lights up! I know, I know, the words PRE - LIT are running through my head too at this point of the story.
I had those darn little green fake Christmas tree "leaves" (more like one inch static cling annoyances) all over the place. ON the carpet, my clothes, the wall, the dog....uuugh. I felt my bad mood building and decided I would just start doing Christmas decorations in the future with no tree. Bah, hum-bug, huh?
Well, now it's all put away and I'm sure that by next year, I'll have enough spirit to brave a tree with lights and the whole deal!
Normally, I put some sort of spiritual analogy into what I learned about this experience. Well, I'm blank. I just wanted everyone to get a picture of me and the tree.
Have a great day!
I had those darn little green fake Christmas tree "leaves" (more like one inch static cling annoyances) all over the place. ON the carpet, my clothes, the wall, the dog....uuugh. I felt my bad mood building and decided I would just start doing Christmas decorations in the future with no tree. Bah, hum-bug, huh?
Well, now it's all put away and I'm sure that by next year, I'll have enough spirit to brave a tree with lights and the whole deal!
Normally, I put some sort of spiritual analogy into what I learned about this experience. Well, I'm blank. I just wanted everyone to get a picture of me and the tree.
Have a great day!
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