"Train up a child...

....in the way he should go, and he shall not depart from it."

It's a great verse and I understand the truth in it. But, I am so tired of the now and not seeing the results. I feel so defeated in the immediate. This verse truly talks about beginning to end. Infancy to Adulthood. Seeing that we are in the elementary stages, I am not seeing the stick-to-it-ness that I want to see that my children have learned. How many more times do I have to prompt them on their responses?

I am sure this defeat is heightened since we have just left family camp. A place where their little self-side was satisfied. We are reigning back in on the answer "no" and it is rubbing them wrong. I am tired from camp. It wasn't a kick back and relax on a vacation type setting. Please hear that I am NOT complaining. It was undoubtedly the best week of our lives (as far as family unity is concerned.)

That transition to normalcy is tricky. I loved watching these kids have fun and play together! But, in the van on the way back down to the Springs to stay for a few days, I could hear the sin natures loud and clear and it makes me cringe. My cringing is the best attempt that I have at self-control. I'd rather sit there with my teeth gritting together than explode or roll my eyes. But, I have the power of the Holy Spirit living within me. Can't I do better than cringe?

I have a strong desire within me to give up as well. Now, this feels balanced by my husband who is continually encouraging me to not give up. That helps having that support. But, this is where I am and these are my prayers as we are transitioning ♫ back to life and back to reality ♫

God, I can do NOTHING without YOU! Thank you for offering and supplying Your help! I need it as I am not seeing Victory within the battle of raising children up in Your Ways. Thank you for the opportunity to go to camp and make wonderful memories. Help me as we drive back home and jump back into where You have us.

Colorado

We are in Colorado for Family Camp. I can't even do words yet...... so, I"m packing this post out with some great pictures!!!!

Hot Doggett 100

I DID it!!!!!! My first century!!! And this particular one was the hardest thing I think I've ever done. We pedalled for 8 hours and 14 minutes.... with stops we were one the course for 9 1/2 hours total. It was a long, grueling day! There were times where I felt like hours passed and not many miles because I was averaging like 5 mph. The climbs were tough. The downhills ROCKED. I maxed 43.8 mph (I think.) We climbed 9,600 feet total elevation. I'm pretty sure I already posted a link to this ride. Here's a decent map!!

Pack the Pacifiers

I had a dream last night that a free spot opened up on a trip to a desirable destination. I had only minutes to decide if I wanted to go. Upon deciding, I found out I didn't have much time to pack much of anything as the flight was soon approaching. Then, at the very last minute, it was strongly suggested that I take my youngest daughter, Kenna, along with me. All this for free. All I had to do was say yes!

So I did. I learned a few things about myself in this dream. All the pre-traveling jitters that come as a package deal when I take a trip are really quite unnecessary. There really is nothing I can't live without. I was so freed on this trip to have my baby and a growing relationship with her as my luggage. We had the clothes on our back. Plus, we happened to have enough time to grab literally a change of clothes and something to sleep in.

See, I go on trips and I think of all the "things" I need to buy and pack so that the kiddos stay content. So that we have luxury where our destination finds us. Making sure to include the dvd's and the ipods. REALLY. These "things" are more grown up "pacifiers." When traveling with an infant, it is crucial to have a binkie, blankie, bottle or whatever it is that pacifies the discontentment of a baby. But, my true heart's desire from this dream is that I may only be pacified by Christ. Contentment in Him and His Provision. And this "carpe diem" mentality with life. Saying yes to adventure without preparation.

If offered the same thing, would you go?

Windy Gap

I am in kick-back-mode for the week. No kiddos. The last two Harry Potter books. Meals prepared and served. What more can I say?

It is strange to just be an observer this week at camp. This time last year I remember posting about being on our first assignment and beggin' for prayer. Now, I am watching it all going on and remember how hard it can be. I'm meeting the families that are all in their third week of "bonding" and just remembering. I have even seen a couple people that were with us at SharpTop Cove last year.

I have the big bike ride lingering in the back of my mind. I know it's Saturday and I want to do it well. But, I also want to eat all these amazing desserts and sit around camp and be lazy. Right now, we're contemplating getting out of here to go for a ride this afternoon. Maybe if I get myself off of this computer and make Nick close his book, we'll go..... we'll see!!!!

Wahoo!!!

I love trips! Nick and I are in Nashville. I'm about to meet up with a bloggy friend :) We are headed to Windy Gap (a Young Life camp outside of Asheville, NC.) We get to be adult guests hosts for a week of camp. Then, we are finally doing our 100 mile bike ride in the Blue Ridge Mountains!!!!

Funny story of why I'm even here blogging right now. We pulled up to a Starbucks outside of a hotel where I ran in to get our addictions satisfied. I came out and the van wouldn't start. The Hotel people graciously helped us out by giving us a jump start. As I saw the cables that transferred the juice needed to properly get out engine started, I thought about the body of Christ. It is essential to have jumper cables ready in our brother and sisters in Christ lives. Those jumper cables can come in the form of prayer. They can be a hug. They can look so different for each individual need. You don't lose anything by giving someone a jump start. People are usually always willing to do it. There is no hidden fee or agenda. A good ole' jump start gets you going so you can go on and fix your problem.

May I be so sensitive to see how my friends and family could use any of my battery life to jump start them. As I go into this week of watching high schoolers have the best week of their lives at camp and hearing about Christ possibly for the first time, may I be sensitive to the Holy Spirit!!!!

Voice Memo

So, I just did the software update on my old iPhone which put a new feature on it called, "Voice Memo." This has become a new game-like application for my youngest daughter. She will walk away alone with the phone in her hand and press record. She always starts with an introduction of herself and then her performance..... singing, pledge of allegiance, etc... They have been so fun to listen to! I should see if there is a way to upload one on here just so you can hear how precious she is.

Well, this morning, she had record on a bit longer than usual. Let's just say that she captured what life sounds like around here. I sat in my room alone listening to my recorded voice pouring out of this device and wanted to cry. It's not like I was yelling or angry or anything. It's that the teaching tone that I have with my children did not sound like one of adoration or patience or lovingkindness. The conviction engulfed me. I quickly hit delete and still sat and pondered this revelation that my voice is not a pleasing one when teaching my children. Because I know myself so well, I could hear the 8 years of bottled-up frustration, the tired of fighting the sin nature within them, the surviving as best as I can TONE! I so badly wanted to hear a tone of a mother in control and filled with the fruits of the Spirit.

I wonder, I just try to wonder, what God's voice sounds like??!! The way that I imagine it, is the way that I want mine to sound (female version) when speaking to my children. I can't even pretend to hear a tone from Him that is exhausted, frustrated, spent or even bothered. This is what I heard in my tone in dealing with the sibling rivalry here this morning.

God, you know how much I desire to teach my girls about You and Your Perfect Love. I not only want to do that in word, but also in action. In my leading them, I want them to know YOU! Give me the ability to speak to them the way I know you would sound if I audibly heard You! Thank you for revealing Yourself to me in a way that I can imagine Your calming voice that would welcome instruction! I love You and am thankful for the silly little updated application on my phone that You used to teach me something about myself today. Help me with this never-ending endeavor!