It's a great verse and I understand the truth in it. But, I am so tired of the now and not seeing the results. I feel so defeated in the immediate. This verse truly talks about beginning to end. Infancy to Adulthood. Seeing that we are in the elementary stages, I am not seeing the stick-to-it-ness that I want to see that my children have learned. How many more times do I have to prompt them on their responses?
I am sure this defeat is heightened since we have just left family camp. A place where their little self-side was satisfied. We are reigning back in on the answer "no" and it is rubbing them wrong. I am tired from camp. It wasn't a kick back and relax on a vacation type setting. Please hear that I am NOT complaining. It was undoubtedly the best week of our lives (as far as family unity is concerned.)
That transition to normalcy is tricky. I loved watching these kids have fun and play together! But, in the van on the way back down to the Springs to stay for a few days, I could hear the sin natures loud and clear and it makes me cringe. My cringing is the best attempt that I have at self-control. I'd rather sit there with my teeth gritting together than explode or roll my eyes. But, I have the power of the Holy Spirit living within me. Can't I do better than cringe?
I have a strong desire within me to give up as well. Now, this feels balanced by my husband who is continually encouraging me to not give up. That helps having that support. But, this is where I am and these are my prayers as we are transitioning ♫ back to life and back to reality ♫
God, I can do NOTHING without YOU! Thank you for offering and supplying Your help! I need it as I am not seeing Victory within the battle of raising children up in Your Ways. Thank you for the opportunity to go to camp and make wonderful memories. Help me as we drive back home and jump back into where You have us.