Valentine's Day

With hearts on the mind, a wonderful discussion happened in the car with my four year old daughter, Meg. She told me that she had invited Jesus into her heart and I asked her if she really knew what that meant and how to do it. After explaining to her that He took the punishment for our sins by dying on the cross, I asked her if she believed that He did that for her. I asked her if she wanted to pray with me to invite Him into her heart, She said that she wanted to invite him in but didn't want Him to live there. I can't imagine what a four year old must think in trying to comprehend that. I'm just excited that she has found Jesus to be someone she wants in her life.

What a blessing it is that we (Nick and I) are in a place spiritually to introduce to our children from the earliest time some of the greatest blessings of knowing HIM!

Today is also her Grammy's Birthday! What a neat memory for Meg to share her Spiritual Birthday with her Grammy!!!

Struggling with Puppy Love

Spencer is my dog. He is only 7 months old. We bought him as a puppy (12 weeks old.) I paid a whopping $150.00 for him. Then, all the money for the shots, the neutering (poor thing), the puppy training classes (and some of the babysitting we paid for to take him to the classes), the collar, the leash, the food, the dog treats, the dog toys for him to eat so that he won't eat our furniture and the girls' toys. You can probably hear already the regret I have in buying a puppy. So I begin to struggle on getting this dog to obey when I can't even get my children to obey. I can't get rid of the kids, so I contemplate getting rid of the dog?! Nick says he loves the dog and the girls do to. Do I love the dog? I just did a whole scrapbook layout in our family album for crying outloud!!!! How long do I have to hang in there for the dog to outgrow his chew on everytihng stage? I hope this stage passes quickly as this daily testing is getting old.

In My Head

I'm starting this space as a place to gather thoughts with the intention of growing in my relationship with the Lord. See, when I'm at the red light, I've stopped enough to actually pay attention to the Spirit living within me. I believe if we would all just hush ourselves enough and write down some of what He's teaching us, we'd all grow in amazing ways. I'll take what randomly (or Sovereignly) comes into my head and form a journal allowing growth to take place.

I've often times thought that I should write a book because of my life experiences and my gifts. See, I have the gift of transparency and honesty. I have bumps in my journey that I'm not afraid to talk about. I desire for God to be glorified in talking about them and for growth to take place in other people because of them. But, because of blogging, I no longer feel that I have to write a book. I can express thoughts and join in with others in discussion. It's like a live article. I'm so excited about the sense of community that happens here!

Introduce Yourself

1.WHO are you?
2.WHAT do you do? (like job)
3.WHEN did you start blogging?
4.WHERE are you from?
5.WHY are you here (in blog land?)
and
6.HOW OFTEN do you visit?

My answers:
1. Rachel. I am a mother that struggles on a daily basis to die to self.
2. I stay at home taking care of, disciplining, and training 3 girls.
3. In Feb. 2007 but not seriously or consistently until September of 07.
4. Oklahoma
5. To grow. To process. To learn.
6. Every couple of days.

Your turn to answer :)

My Chains are Gone

So, Nick and I volunteered to take 11 college-aged kids to the Passion Conference in Atlanta, GA on Jan. 1-4! We signed up to lead this team basically because of Nick’s heart for ministry. He’s been leading a Sunday night college group (very small) over at my parents house and conversations led to the idea of us taking a group.
Okay, so this event. It was life-changing, totally amazing…..for EVERYONE there. Just so you know there were 24,000 people there. To even be in the same room with 20,000 praising our God would have been enough to change me. But, God had to go and do so much more. I accidentally forgot to take my Zoloft (I was up to 100mg/day.) So, in a panic I call my Dr. and they fax a prescription in to a pharmacy in downtown Atlanta. I go to pick it up only to find out that because it was earlier than usual insurance wouldn’t pay for the generic causing it to cost a whopping $10.99 per pill. I was only there 3 nights and 4 days. So, I decided to push through any withdrawals until I made it home. Then God started using the Messages during the main sessions of this event to challenge me right where I am in life. I’m going to make this part of the long story short. The long stuff would be for me to repeat all that the various speakers said….the short part is what I ultimately heard. I have fallen out of love with Jesus. I was putting Nick up as a god in my life. My very own husband was becoming my salvation. I wanted him to fix all my “mommy��? problems. I thought it not fair that he got to go off and have a heart for ministry while I merely survived each day at home with the children. God was changing my thinking. Showing me how to Love Him and depend on Him. I had had people tell me that what I was going through was something spiritual, but my heart and head would get so hardened because it felt so judgmental to receive those statements when I was suffering so. I needed God to tell it to me in His own AH-Mazing way. He did. He chose the Passion07 Conference to get me alone without my children or my meds to hold my heart and help me heal. After some smaller sessions, I learned even more about myself. I hadn’t just turned my eyes from Jesus; I was against the idea of being used by Him for anything. I didn’t want to be used by Him because I couldn’t even do this training my children thing correctly. So, now I have a willing heart about ministry and our future. I’ve so rested in the fact that I am His and I will go and do what He tells me to do. Upon return…..you know……to LIFE. (Where the kids still make messes and argue and the dog still chews on important things and sleep gets interrupted) I am doing so much better. I still have not taken a Zoloft since Dec. 31, 2006. I went through some crazy brain jitters for over a week. But, I cry now and that feels good. I worship now with my emotions involved and that feels GREAT! I am hanging on to the ride of life with three small children, but I’m learning to praise God through it. I bought a new Bible that I am most excited about. I had such familiarity in my old Bible and I was ready to read things as if I were reading them for the first time in my life. What a journey the beginning of my New Year has brought. I just knew that you could rejoice with me and the change God is doing in me!