Equipped

I have in one hand a "rod" and in the other, my bible verse pack. I feel like I can face today with these two things on me always. God was so good to me because in my July 22nd reading today, I am telling you, I easily could be Paul. Here this: Romans 7

v. 15 "I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate."
v. 18 & 19 "And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can't. I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway."
v. 25 "Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin."
8:2 "And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death."

How perfect is that? Also, the Chronicles part of my reading had me claiming:

"He is good! His faithful love endures forever!" 2 Chron. 7:3b

God just met me where I needed to be met to do what I need to do! Here are some pictures from yesterday. The girls are beautiful and "The Mill" is the dining hall where Nick LIVES.

Breaking Point

I should have known. The re-start that I attempted this afternoon didn't work. We went back up to camp and I broke in front of people. So, with humility I post begging for more prayer.
The reason my tears flowed and I had a mini melt down is because I can no longer handle how my children are responding to me. Here's how it went:
Kenna: crying
Me: why are you crying?
Kenna: because I didn't get a lot of dessert.
Me: you didn't deserve any and should be grateful that you got a small amount when you weren't even supposed to get any tonight.
Kenna: but I want a LOT (still crying)
Me: Ok. Now you don't get any.
Kenna: (full on tantrum)

I then, walk her out of the building to explain what she did wrong and why she doesn't get any and why she has to sit in a "time out."

I walk back in to start getting the girls together to leave the dining hall. When this happens next:
Megan: Can I (the two words I have a deep dislike for now) have a lick? (pointing at the left over dessert)
Me: No
Megan: But, can I just have a LICK?
Me: No
Megan: Can I have a lick, only a lick?
Me: (i actually can't remember what happened here, but I know that it when I started crying.... I somehow dealt with her)

After crying and talking with a Mom, and having all the other mom's staring at me asking if I'm okay (where I'm clearly not okay) I regain composure and go to get Kenna out of "time out."
It's time to leave and Megan is being carried to me by someone who says that she was in the back (where she's not supposed to go unless Mom or Dad is with her.) The final disobedience.
I send her for a LONG walk by herself back to the room where I will "deal with her."

This is where I'm stuck. I can't stop crying and my eyes are swollen. I have had the good discipline and hugs and forgiveness and all that with them, but I feel too unstable to go back into camp. This is where I beg for prayer. Please pray that my emotions can be pulled together and that my children will finally start saying "Yes ma'am" every time the first time. I know this is a hard setting to train well. But, this is what I need from them to make it another three weeks. (where dessert is served two out of everything three meals.)

Thanks for reading this far and thanks even more if you are praying!
(this picture was taken yesterday, but it still had the dessert in the face, so I thought it to be appropriate :)

Week Two

I seriously can't comprehend what I'm going to feel like when I'm on Week Four! I'm getting so physically tired! I'm glad to say that we're learning how to fit naps in when needed!

As I write, buses are unloading our next group of campers. So, I'm gearing up for our next week and since we had such a busy week last week, I'm planning to have more down time with the girls. By the end of last week, we were all learning how to help Nick out in the dining hall. I just don't want us to all get in the way.

Well, this is short and to the point. I've said where we are in our stay here, now for my heart. I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. We've been cranky. So, we just napped and I'm hoping and praying that it is exactly what we needed to re-start our day and our attitudes. I do find time to read the Word and get alone with God each day. I know I wouldn't have made it without Him giving me all I need. He is my Sustainer!

That's what it's all about....

Tonight at camp, we said good bye to our first week of 400+ campers. Right before they load up on the buses to go home, Young Life has a "Say So." This is taken from the verse in the Bible that says, "Let the Redeemed of the Lord say so."
Many campers remained standing to hold a microphone and tell us their name, where they were from and that they entered into a relationship with Jesus this week. I cried as they began. In the middle of it, Ashlyn leaned over and told me that she thought it was sad that they didn't accept Jesus when they were children. I explained that not all parents know about it and therefore can't teach it to their children. That is why it is so excited to have a place like YL camp where they might get to hear about a relationship with Jesus for their very first time!!!
It made my heart so happy for my children to watch what this camp is ALL about!

Our free time together as a family today was rich. I feel sustained to go into our 2nd week here at camp!

First Day Six

Well, Meg not only got to the top of the rock wall today to ring the bell. She did it three times in a row!!! She's a stud!

I'm so excited because tonight I got to eat dinner with Nick while some Work Crew girls baby sat all the kids. It was refreshing. And the refreshment is just getting started. I just found out that Nick doesn't have to do anything until 4pm tomorrow. So, when he gets back here tonight (probably around midnight.) We can all sleep in and go into a nearby town or whatever. I'm just excited to have a family morning/day together tomorrow.

I've had some great lessons that the Lord is teaching me.

I'll share one awesome one. Just today I was beginning to get a "woe is me" mentality about living far away from the Assigned Team. I was thinking they had it so much better and I was listing off the reasons in my head that we were getting the raw end of the deal. And the Lord just gently reminded me that He placed me here. Maybe He was protecting me from something in that living situation that would have been way harder for me to deal with. All I know is that trusting Him in EVERYTHING is the only way to process and handle All things.

Thanks for praying. I feel like I'm getting extra measures of those fruits that He so freely gives.

Good night... R <><

Pictures are worth a thousand words

Seriously, if I don't have like a major prayer request to post, I'll just post the pics from our camp happenings! I did want to let ya'll know that Ashlyn did try that Giant Swing the next day. She cried through the whole thing so even if I had a picture to prove it, I probably wouldn't have posted it. She has decided that she hates anything to do with heights.
So the entire time Meg, Kenna and I climbed this rock wall today, Ashlyn kept asking me if there was ANYTHING to do here at camp that didn't have heights involved. Now she (and we) know what she won't like and what the others will.
Oh, I am not good at laying out the pictures with words in the right places, so I will explain that Meg is a perfectionist and she got so mad at the fact that she couldn't do it that she screamed at the top of lungs dangling up top. We told her we'd bring her down and she'd scream harder that she didn't want down- she wanted to DO it. She tried three different times. Her poor muscles had to be so sore. So, here are the pictures that tell more than what I wrote!!!!

Chiggers

Guess that's what the bites on my legs are. I guess they are really bad here this year. And some other people have been getting chiggers, but mine seem to be the worst. To let you know how bad mine are, I almost took pictures. But, it's pretty gross, so I won't.
With that said. I now have the issue of looking gross to people. I want to wear pants, but it irritates them more and makes them itch even more. So, I'm trying to keep a positive attitude with by body partially covered in red bumps.
Thanks for praying!
I hear that we'll actually get to hang out with Nick definitely by the 3rd week if not the 2nd. So, we're on our first Day Five and it's getting difficult for me to really understand what it will look like to do this entire long, busy week three more times.
I'm trying to cram personal time in with the girls still under my supervision. That is usually where I get frustrated. I know I need personal time and the ONLY way to get it is to force them to do something that doesn't require me watching them. So, again, more prayer. I desire to not have to fight the chiggers the entire stay here. May it be that I just learned my lesson to not sit in the grass while my children run around. And may the bug spray work from here on out.