I'm continually resisting what is in front of me. What is wrong with me? I have 3 beautiful girls that require so much of me. I hear one day I'll miss this stage. That they will grow up too fast. I'm not buying it. I actually desire for them to grow up. I want adulthood for them. I can think back to my childhood days and my memory is foggy. I remember so much more from my independent days. Why would this be the most important part if they don't even remember it all too well? Most of my memories are from pictures and stories retold anyway.
So, my struggle is that I am continually fighting just my own selfish desires. I don't want to play house or Uno or dress-up. It's like I'm too tired to do that.
I want out of the not wanting to be where I am. It sounds a lot like discontentment, doesn't it? Well, if it's discontentment then there's something wrong with me spiritually. For part of the secret of being content is doing everything through Christ WHO strengthens me. I am not being strengthened by Christ.
Oh, Lord, I surrender this resistance that I have in my spirit. Take it all!!!