Today's Assessment

After going this long without posting anything, I feel as if what I write now must be the biggest and best post ever after such a long silence.

Well, sorry to disappoint, but I'm just writing to write again.... Nothing HUGE. Nothing that will go viral.

I went to bible study this morning where we talked about Peter. Oh, how I'm growing to love Peter the more I study about him and his relationship with Jesus. I can identify with Peter in many ways. One thing that was mentioned this morning was that as believers, we must be able to recognize our rebellion. When we see our sin as sin and humbly repent, then right relationship with Jesus happens.

All too often, the external stuff (works), continue on even when our hearts are not in the right place. I began thinking about this blog. It's title is "A Heart Assessment" because I need to always be evaluating, assessing, scrutinizing, testing, watching, checking the condition of my heart.

What's crazy is after this time of studying the word together with other believers, I had a doctor's appointment, followed by lab work, followed by an ultrasound; which has left me reading things on the internet trying to scrutinize, diagnose, assess my physical pain.

When it comes to my back pain, I feel like that tiny ball in a pin ball machine being bounced around from doctor to doctor and left falling between the opening in the bottom without answers.


But, when it comes to assessing the condition of my heart..... guess what? I have solid answers from the word of God!

I end this post with the encouragement that God's word gives us when we take a look at our hearts in humble honesty.
Psalm 51:17 "You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."

Thank you, Lord that your compassions are new every morning. That your faithfulness is Great! That you forgive sins. That no one is abandoned by your forever. That you can be trusted. That you offer Peace. And that you LOVE (Agapao) us. -Amen-

Random Thoughts on Authority

I know it has been WAY too long! I think up many "posts" in my mind if that counts for anything! It counts to me because I actually write for growth. So, If I'm still writing in my head, then hopefully I'm still growing through many life lessons.

One thought I've been pondering lately is authority.

Jesus had ultimate authority during his time here on earth. I've been doing a Precept Study on the book of Matthew and his many miracles show what He had/has authority over. (demons, disease, nature). But, as I've been thinking about the word, authority, I just can't help but hear the root word, author. As an author you can take a story wherever you want.... You are the author. If God is the author and perfecter of our life, then why do we even want the reigns?

I'm not the author. I'm not the potter. I am the clay to be molded and I am the character to be shaped BY HIM. He is the author and I give HIM total authority without pretending to have any of it myself.

*on an authority side note*

I hear one daughter trying to tell the other daughter what to do. When the listening daughter doesn't obey the command. Commanding daughter says...and I quote: "MOM!!! Tell ____ to ________!" So, without skipping a beat and practically in a monotone voice I repeat the phrase.

This got an internal giggle of my mind. I am always telling my children the rules to follow, the behavior to do and choices to make. But, if they don't obey me when I'm teaching, why would they think I have ANY authority to get one of their sisters to DO something they can't get them to do?

Doh!

"The anger of a parent confronted with a child's poor choice shifts the focus from the child's bad behavior to the parent's angry response." - You Version Parenting by Design Daily Devotional

I'm hearing the Homer Simpson response in my head....."DOH!"

This is my greatest struggle right now in my mother role. I've always been told that we are the "tone-setters" of the home and generally I'm good with that. I even feel like I am consistent in disciplining and not withholding consequences to their actions.... but, about my angry response to their poor choices? Fail. 100% fail. I'm just as immature as they are when it comes to the tantrum I have.

Oh, how I need help. Any suggestions would be great. Prayer would be best! Thanks... :)

Lord, How I need you in this area. I hate that my response to the kiddos making the wrong choice angers me. Please help me to shepherd them as you do me. Give me the ability to be self-controlled and patient with their mistakes. In your precious name, Amen

Cool Breeze Century!

This week I fly to CA to ride in the Cool Breeze Century from Ventura, CA through Santa Barbara! I'm so excited to be raising money once again for Young Life! I'm finding that anytime you mention California, people want to know specifically what part. Well, I found a description of our bike route and a map with elevation that I'll post here.




The Metric Century and Century routes follow the coast to Carpinteria, then turn inland through the scenic orchards and flower ranches of East Santa Barbara County. The Metric will loop back through Montecito and on home, while the Century hooks up with the very challenging Double-Metric Century riders who have ridden the Ventura River Bike Trail, into East Ojai and over Casitas Pass and connecting with the Century Route into Goleta.

During numerous Team YL training rides, I've heard it said that if we can ride 40 + miles in Oklahoma, surely we can ride 100 in CA. It's just been so hot here, I think we are in for an amazing day on the bike. I'll try to post pics after this weekend! If anyone wants to donate, just email me or leave me a comment! (ridermeyergirl@gmail.com)

Broken Record

I look at a mother of an infant and can easily remember what it felt like then. It's all about "the baby". A serious case of ESP (eating, sleeping and pooing) is all you live for in those first few months. Then, a personality develops. You live for the moments of connecting with giggles, first words and adorable moments that only someone that young can produce!

But, somewhere along this parenting journey, it shifts from "a baby" to a heart that needs shepherding. What a task! As I continually repeat the demands and the rules I feel like a broken record player....
yes, I had a record player back in my day, so I can refer to that as a valid analogy :)

Sometimes what is hard about the training of our children is how I "feel." I'll repeat the overstated rule or command and instantly think to myself, "Why do I even tell them this? They aren't going to "get it" until they are a parent." So, that feeling of "it-doesn't-do-any-good" takes over and then I am defeated.

I picture that young mother again and think how simple that was and how naive I was then. It is so incredibly difficult to parent well. Staying consistent and self-controlled are two challenges I face daily. I'm tempted with the lazy attitude of, "why teach 'em?" I mean, seriously. It makes me angry when they fail. It makes me exhausted because of the uphill battle that it feels like.

BUT YET, I am accountable and I have been called to train my children with the Word of God. And so, I do. I press on. I put my novel down and pick up the parenting books and I invest in the job I'm called to do today. For, it will be gone soon and I'll remember when.... :)

Father, I need you in ways I didn't know I'd need you when you gave me these daughters. I trust You completely! I thank you for them. Thank you for being on my team and being so Gracious. I couldn't imagine parenting without You and the Help and Strength that You are and that You freely provide. Thank you for Your Holy Spirit within me! Now, help my broken record to have your Grace Sound!
In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Victory Run

I've been told to go slow and not very far on my very first run since surgery. So, I tightened my shoelaces (they've been on lax-tie since January) and turned on my ipod. I intentionally did NOT wear my garmin as I did not want to see how slow I would run my very short distance back at it!

My goal was to the entrance of my neighborhood. That's a quarter of a mile.... Wahoo! We're talking big time, here!

On the way out I was paying attention to every bone and joint and muscle in my body. Then a good song came on and I felt myself settle in and a smile crept on my face. It was like some sort of long lost identity was found. I am a runner! Even when I was runner I didn't feel like I was a runner. But here I was in the 100 degree heat mid-summer-day in OK running with a smile on my face.

I came back to the house and got my knee brace (that I was supposed to have on in the first place) and headed back out to the entrance of my neighborhood. On my way back, I decided that I could call this almost ONE mile run a victory run because I stopped due to the heat... NOT pain, NOT injury, NOT weakness!!!!

I think I've logged my first run back after injury, surgery and recovery :)

I feel a little like this:

Look and Learn

I choose to fix my eyes on Jesus. When my total focus is on HIM, He is all I want. He is all I desire. I’m ready for eternity with Him. I’m ready to do His will. I’m ready to be used by Him and my love for Him makes me want to live my life on earth all for His glory. May all see Him and desire Him!

I’ve just finished the first of three books that tell a story about some really bad things that people do. Since I don’t have my hands on the second book in this trilogy I just flipped on the TV in order to have some background noise as I played words with friends on my phone. The news that was broadcasted into my hotel room was so disheartening; I had to stop and think.

The book I read was fiction. The TV was not. It was showing clips of sex scandals with politicians over the years. The lies fell from their lips to cover their shame, and then the next clip was the apology. I listened and realized that they aren’t much different from a lot of the bible characters I’ve read about. It’s sad really to watch the destruction and pain from wrong choices.

I get that wrong choices are where we do most of our learning. But, can we not start to learn from others wrong choices? Now, I’m thinking about my children. Can I not show them numerous mistakes made so that they can learn? As most parents desire to “shelter” their children from hearing and learning things too early, I’m starting to wonder if the more you tell them and share with them now, the more equipped they’ll be for what they will face.

For now, I’ll continue to teach them the truth that comes from my all time favorite hymn:
“Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.”