Real Reason for being "on Hold"

I didn't know what to write. I didn't want it "out there." But, two days before leaving our month-long stay at camp, I found out that my sister was flying home with her four children to flee from her lying husband. We were all shocked that he has been living a horrible double life for their entire marriage.
We began our 15 hour drive home. By the middle of it, I realized I was on one of the longest hardest roads I'd ever be on. I was driving away from a rich, exhausting time working at a camp. But, I was pointed in the direction of devastation. The closer I got to OK the more real the pain became.
I have been walking this road with my sister now for over a week. I'm answering questions to my children I never thought of. I now beg for prayer for healing for her and for this difficult transition for her four children.
I contemplate my own marriage and realize that we live in such a fallen, messed up world. I long for Heaven and am thrilled that I have the hope of Heaven.

God, I know that you don't change when our circumstances do. We need your help.

On Hold

Well, I'm home from camp, but taking a few days off.

On Edge

There's no pill to swallow that can take away the stuff I'm feeling inside. I wish there was such a remedy. I know. I know..... God is my remedy. But still, I am about to burst. There is tension within me that I can't explain. We only have a day and a half left here. I feel like every corner I turn, there is trouble. This sounds so vague. But, I'm not going to mention other people's problems on here. It just then I am not hearing any good news right now. It's ALL bad and I'm feeling defeated by it. I've been begging for prayer all month and now there are so many people in need of it and my tank feels empty.
Uuuuugh.

Good Days Gone Bad

I wanted to post about how much fun we had again today, but now that I'm here, I have a headache and I'm sad that it ended the way it did. I think it's just this room and being told what to do that allow the grumpy children to come out of the sweet dancing children that were just up at camp.
Our day began with the adventure of a bears being sited around camp. So, timidly we faced camp realizing that they've been there all along and we just didn't know about it so why worry now!
I got to do the mountain bike trail here with a group of campers! Shortly after that, we did the Giant Swing a few times. I'm so proud of Meg and Kenna for pulling the rope to release the swing all by themselves! Then we headed over to the Quantum Leap where you strap in and climb up a pole. I don't know exactly how high it is, but is high. Then you balance yourself on a small square and stand up. Then you jump out and ring a bell. I didn't have my camera down there for that one. Meg did it first. Then I did it. Then sweet little Kenna attempted it. Her little limbs just wouldn't stretch far enough. We told her maybe next year :)

Finally, YL Camp does this awesome thing called Tableau. Well, since this is week four, my girls finally felt like they could hold still long enough to perform. They did great. They held still and I do have pictures of that. They look so small in here, you probably can't see Nick and the girls, but you'll get an idea.
Now, I'm to bed for some much needed rest!

Fun-filled Day

It felt like the first week around here today! We hit the zip line (yes, Kenna finally did it all by herself!), the rock wall, the pool and the snack shop!!!!
The kids are plum-tuckered out! My spirits are high today :)

Thank you, Father for the way that you have answered my prayers. I asked for some of your fruits and you have been so gracious to give them to me today. It is because of You that I am able to have joy in the midst of this!

Other than the one picture of some campers helping Kenna and Meg off the zip line, the rest of these are all of the bracelet making factory. I had mentioned that this craft had united us. Now, I see that it has consumed us. It is a terrible thing to supervise when you have a bit of OCD.

Spirit Filled on my Fourth Day One

I so desire to have Spirit-filled children.

I pray that they learn now the difference between living by their sin nature and living by the Spirit that gives us the fruits we need to live by!

I have been asking God to help me develop an attitude of worship that is not dependent on circumstances, not distracted by other things that crowd into my life, but is focused on his greatness and goodness to me.
As I am doing this I'm realizing that at the root of my children's responses is a distraction. I need to redirect their focus. I get obedient and pleasant children only when they are getting what they want. Is it like that with me? Is my focus so on myself that God is using my children to teach me something?
Oh, how I yearn to only see Him and care about Him.

God remove me from myself. I don't want to get in the way of what you want to do in and through me.

In half an hour our fourth set of campers will begin arriving. May I go into this next week of camp with as much excitement that I had the first week. I am trying so hard to set the tone for the week today by addressing the problem within us (the girls and ME.)

Father, I canNOT do any of this without you. I choose to live in a worshipful, spirit-filled life!

United

Well, we have discovered a new craft for ALL of us to enjoy here at camp. It all began at the bead barn and seeing campers all around wearing cool bracelets, anklets and necklaces. So, we pick out our colors and safety pin it and stay on task as we make bracelets. That's what the last two days have been and it's been great to have something that we can ALL do. See, for awhile there either one was left out or one didn't like something so we could never really all participate in something together. So, this is a praise because it has united us!