Draft

I have had more "drafts" on this blog in the past few years than I have actual posts.  This is due in part to an enemy of mine called "Comparison."  I used to write my little blog posts with little insecurity.  When a love for reading encompassed me, I saw it.  So clearly, I saw that I was NOT a writer.  The things I had to say didn't seem that spectacular either.  Or maybe my exact message was already delivered in a perfect little chapter of a book and wrapped neatly with a bow to tie up the thoughts perfectly and beautifully.  And BOOM: I was silenced by Comparison.

So, my voice is weak and weary.  I'm clearing my throat.  I've been nourished with literary morsels.  Strengthened (and wearied) by remarkable thoughts and ideas.  So, as to not become stagnant, I write again.  (or I will in a day or two!)

Commonplace Blog

The word "Blog" seems to me as ancient as a record player or VHS player.  It was so important to me during my intense years of struggle.  Don't get me wrong, I still struggle.... A LOT.  But, when my struggle was as a SAHM, I needed this space as an outlet.  A place to see the beauty in refinement.

Now, all these years later, I find that I sit back and watch and listen to others in a quest for beauty and truth.  The more I learn, the more I find I don't have that much to say.  However, I miss this space and the small community I shared it with.

I have started a "Commonplace Book" where I am compiling collections of quotes, lyrics, verses, songs.  I LOVE this book.  To have everything I'm loving and discovering in one place is so rich. Maybe I'll end up merging these two outlets.  For now, it feels good to be "a little" back.  At least I still remembered my login!!

Closed Door Parenting

This is by NO means a good or suggested method of parenting!  Frustration and defeat may have driven me to it.  This very morning, I heard the arguing turn into fighting.  As it escalated, I had an option:  I could let the temperature of my blood escalate with them to a rolling boil OR I could close the door and turn up some classical music.  

And thus, the closed door parenting method was born.  Behind that door my thoughts traversed through a battlefield.  Cannons shot through my head with sounds of "I'm not a good mother!"  "I have failed in training them up in the LORD!" 
Dangerous explosions that paralyzed my ability to carry on in the job that began with a rod in my pocket following toddlers around the house!

When the time came to re-surface and face the duties of the day, Scripture met me there.  

Galatians 6:9New Living Translation (NLT)

9 So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.

Philippians 1:6New Living Translation (NLT)

6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

I may still need to close that door once in awhile especially as I approach the day of 3 full blown teenage girls.  But, that is okay as long as I reach out to the knob of the door equipped with verses like this: 

Philippians 3:14New International Version (NIV)

14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

and this (because I can't do it, but HE can):

1 John 4:13New Living Translation (NLT)

13 And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us.

Lavish Love

As Valentine's Day approached, I rolled my eyes and did a sigh.  I seriously can NOT stand Valentine's Day.  I resist it until it hits me on the calendar and suddenly I find myself rushing to the closest  to pick up some quick treats so my kiddos have something to give their friends at school.  That is exactly how it goes every.single.year.

This year, however, I read a verse in the Bible that was in a different translation the day before Valentine's Day.

Deuteronomy 5:10(NLT)

"But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those

who love me and obey my commands."

I have camped out on those words "lavish unfailing love" and their magnitude.  He does LAVISH His love on us in so many ways. 

LAVISH

adjective

expended, bestowed, or occurring in profusion

using or giving in great amounts; prodigal

verb (used with object)

to expend or give in great amounts or without limit:

Do you see that He does that?  Do you watch for it?

Recently I saw it in a way that no one else would see.  I'd like to share it with you.

During our house-hunting, I had seen these amazing blinds that are built between the window panels of a door.  I don't know what they are called, but I know they work with my hard-wiring.  They won't get dirty and dusty and they won't clank around when a door slams.  I simply loved them.  I wanted a house that already had these smart blinds.

After being in our home for about a week, I realized that the ONLY possible door and place for these "smart blinds" to exist was our side garage door to the back yard.  You guessed it....that door has "My" blinds.  I just felt loved in great amounts even though it was small and quite possibly not even noticed by anyone else.  But, I want to proclaim it so that He gets the glory for lavishing His love on me.  Look for the big and small ways that He lavishes His love on you and tell the stories about it!

Moving

I know.  I know.  We said LAST summer that the Meyer's are moving to Colorado.  When in reality, the Meyer's left Oklahoma last summer and we are FINALLY moving tomorrow!  What a journey this has been!

We are...WOW....I have lots of words for what we are.  We are: 

Grateful.

Ready.

Blessed.

Tired.

Relieved.

Humbled.

Thankful.

Sanctified.

Growing.

Under Contract

Finally, something to "write home about!"  We are under contract on our home in Oklahoma!  Yay!
I did not make this information public until we made it past the inspection and the agreements on repairs.  Well, as of TODAY....We are looking good to close on our house on January 8th.  What a long journey this has been.

To keep you updated here in CO, we are still living in my sister's basement and will continue to even after our closing.  Our belongings in OK will get packed up and moved into storage until we finally find our home.  Once we find a home and close a deal, I'll be sure to give those updates.  Until then, a big sigh of relief to have our house set to close in just a few weeks!

Now, Come let us worship our KING!  

"The Dwelling Heart Waltz"

"Home is Where the Heart Is".......or so the saying goes.  I say: "Home is where your stuff is and it's the structure you pay your mortgage on."  It's currently the place that I am sick of not being sold.  How's that for an update?  It's been over a month since I posted so I thought I'd jot down a quick update.

We had an offer on our home.  We booked the packers and movers and a flight for Nick to be there for all the final stuff.  Then, they walked.


It is an amazing thing to trust God in the midst of everything!

I know He is conducting the symphony of our transition.  I trust His rhythm.  Although I wouldn't choose an hour and a half of my wailing-snot-sobbing to take up a few measures, He did.  Being on the market for over 100 days and putting a family of five in a basement of a home with a family of six is trying....BUT... there is always a "but"...

But, as trying as it is, God has given me His Peace. We haven't slid off His radar.  In fact, He is pursuing me each day.  I am eager to hear the debut of the final song.  This Composer is using instruments of pain, longing, stillness, patience, hope, desire, trust and peace.

I believe I'll hear the final arrangement when my home and heart are in the same place in His perfect timing!

I lift my eyes up

The dust has settled!  No Really.  It has settled in the basement.  It is time for me to clean.  It's a good indicator of how long we've been dwelling there.  We are finally into a routine.  With school in session and adults working each day our rhythm is forming the melody of our lives.  In the midst of it, God is always pursuing me.

I'd like to show you.......

Spending my days at the school, I am continually hearing teachers call out, "1-2-3" as the class responds with, "Eyes on me!" And then, it continues with a "1-2" and "eyes on you!"
The teachers do this to keep the students attentive to what they are teaching. 

It makes me wonder how often the Holy Spirit is calling out the "1-2-3" to me.  When I hear his call like a military sound off....I "Turn my eyes upon Jesus and look full in His wonderful face."

So, when I stop and think about our home sitting vacant in Oklahoma and the five of us Meyer's living in a basement, I hear the call of "1-2-3" and I smile because that's all it takes for me to put my eyes on Him.  I see His provision for me.  This place- a home with all it's busy sounds.  This patience that's carried me through 70 days on the market.  This Peace that truly is beyond my understanding.  All of these provisions allow for me to testify of HIS Goodness.  Never once have I ever felt alone.  He is carrying me through it all.


When I hear "1-2-3" from my Lord, I know He cares about where I'm looking. 

Psalm 121:1-2 (ESV)

My Help Comes from the Lord

A Song of Ascents.

121 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
² My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.

What's Your Present Circumstance?

I was answering a question in my Bible Study yesterday.  It asked this:
"How would you describe your present circumstances (in the margin)?"

If you read my previous post, you know I was hesitant to write about how our transitional living situation, while good and a blessing, is still hard!  So, this was the first thing that came to my mind.  The next thought that I had as I was assessing my present circumstance was that I'm living AND  working in basements.  Temptation quickly came for me to become negative about this "present circumstance".   As I penned (in the margin and grateful that I had so much space to vent such frustrations that can come with living life in dungeons below the earth!) thoughts about living AND working in basements...........BAM........... and I mean, BAM!!!!!  Thunder outside began!  In that moment, the Holy Spirit put the most beautiful revelation in my mind!!!  Being a girl from Oklahoma, I know that safety is found under ground during storms.

Are you crying yet?  I am.

The safest place during thunderstorms is below ground.  (aka: basements...ya know, where I live AND work!!!)

I realized as the thunder continued and the rains came down that God in HIS sovereignty timed the Boom of the thunder to sound exactly when the temptation to view my "present circumstances" in a negative light. 

Psalm 27:5English Standard Version (ESV)

⁵ For he will hide me in his shelter
    in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
    he will lift me high upon a rock.

Now, I am thankful to be in HIS shelter (these basements, His provision for me) during this present circumstance of transitional living and as a new working mom.  I am grateful that He is with me in these blessed dwellings!  

Wow, our God is good and (as the next sentence in my bible study said....) "Your circumstances are not coincidental in your journey.  God's timing is impeccable."

Transition

I'm so very grateful that my sister and her family have allowed us to live in their home until our house in Oklahoma sells.  So grateful.  Seriously.  Like, once we got all settled, I was shocked at how nice these accommodations actually are! We have TAKEN OVER their basement and made their lives pretty hectic, as can be imagined with 11 people (4 adults and 7 children) under one roof. 

I've been so hesitant to post anything about this transition due to the fact that I only want gratefulness to be heard from my heart.  Truth is.... it's really hard.  But it's hard in unexpected ways.  Paying the electric bill for a house in Oklahoma where it's really hot and we pay for our air conditioner to run and keep an empty house cool.  We are keeping it cool for showings.  Ah, here's where it really starts to get hard.....showings that are only happening like once in ten days.  I know.  I know....it only takes ONE!  Then, we find out the air conditioning was broken.  Another check to mail for an unoccupied home.  All the while, we are navigating this transitional living.  Without an offer, we just don't see our end to this particular transition. 

Next....  Ashlyn started a new school last week.  There is a LOT of homework and it's just plain difficult watching her struggle with little personal space to work and feel frustrations and sadness without her close friends to journey with her. 

Next.... the small school that Megan and Kenna will be attending had to post-pone their start date by a week.  (which means my work start date as well, since I'll be at the "front desk" M-W.)  That all starts tomorrow.  We've just been feeling the increasing stress of not having all the kiddos into a routine of school, but having some in that routine proved difficult. 

The thing of it is..... Our God is flooring me with His Presence, His faithfulness and His kindness.  How kind of Him to faithfully show up each morning and meet me with EXACTLY what I need to face the next day in such a transition.  He is good!  No matter what our circumstance is.... I am so glad to know and experience the GOODNESS of God!

My heart is grateful for a place like my sister's basement to live while living in such a transition.  HE sees me down in the basement.  He hears me always.  I trust HIM and HIS timing.

One last funny thing about all living together.... I think there have been at least two times that I recall feeling like that house in HOME ALONE the morning they are all getting ready for their flight.  That's truly how it feels sometimes.  Which does mean that we are truly doing life together in ways that other people crave.  You see, it forces us to talk and tell stories and laugh AND to make allowances for each others faults because we love each other! 

Learning Gratefulness in EVERYTHING!!!  R <><

Answer

Since we found out that our family is moving to Colorado, many people have asked many questions to which I have been responding with a perpetual and exasperated "I don't know!"  We have not had a lot of clarity in this year long process.  Needless to say, I have been playing hypothetical living for far too long! I'm not complaining at all....it just is what it is. 

BUT today, I have ONE answer and that is ONE answer closer to many more.  We are leaving Oklahoma the last week in July.  Nick will be starting his position on August 1st.

So, what that means is that we will be living with my ever-generous sister, Kaylyn and her family until our house sells and we get settled into one of our own.  Out of all the hypothetical scenarios that I've played out, it feels so strange to declare it and make it official. 

This feels like the third domino to fall.  We got a "YES" on moving to CO.  We put our house on the market.  We have made the plans to move there before the house sells and live with my sister.  Do you see the line of dominoes falling?  I'm starting to.  Even now, as I'm typing, my heart's desire is to be under contract BEFORE we go.  I wake up each morning begging for God to bring the right people to buy our house.  But, as I beg, I trust.  I trust HIS timing more than my desired time table. 

All of the sudden, there is a shift for me in passing these days on the market....Now, I get to think of eating everything in our pantry and freezer and fridge!!!  So, if you're invited over last minute, it's because I need more friends' mouths to help us eat our food and give hugs good-bye to.  I'm tasting the bitter part of this bittersweet time for us. 

Much love and many (((hugs)))

Market Ready!

Our house has been on the market for two weeks today!  On the day that we heard we were moving to  Colorado, I rearranged our family room so the couch was no longer hiding the fire place and I cleaned up some of the kids' junk in our 3rd car garage area.  Those two things were really the ONLY two things I had to do to be ready to show my house.  I thought I was ready to be on the market.  I was mentally patting myself on the back because I thought I had lived "market ready!"  Until....

I started to notice the dirt streaks on Megan's yellow walls and a saggy curtain rod and an outlet cover that needed to be replaced and...well, the small list went on and my "Market Ready Pride" popped.  The spiritual parallel began to form quickly in my mind.

We, as believers, know that we should live like the bride of Christ waiting for HIS return.  We are to be ready at any moment to be taken up with HIM.  And maybe we do have our lives "looking" pretty good, but in reality, there's a lot of clean up and our to do list is a bit longer than we'd care to admit.

So, since that mental spiritual parallel, I have just been living in that place of being on the market.  Ready to turn on the lights on and pop out of our house at any given time until we get an offer.  As soon as we know anything more on timing for our transition, I'll be sure to post about it.

Black Flowers

Because of the title of my post, I'll go ahead and tell the story before I make any connections or applications.

I was on a run when I spotted what looked like a black flower.  No kidding!  Very similar to a Gerber daisy.  Petals straight out, horizontal with the ground!  But then it even looked like a black stem.  That's when I quickly realized that it must be a mushroom or something.  I kept my pace and continued on thinking about what I just saw.  I've landed with the conclusion that I'm sure it was a mushroom, but I could not get away from the idea of a "black flower."  I thought it was beautiful.... but "it" didn't really exist.  How can something that doesn't exist be beautiful?

James 1:2
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,"

That verse equals black flowers to me.  You've heard 'beauty from ashes?"  Well, something along those lines....I see that in my hard, God is there.  I feel His very presence in the midst of it all.  So, maybe that's why I'm so drawn to the idea of black flowers.

Since then...
Well, I found and bought some fake "black flowers" at Hobby Lobby.  I LOVE them!  I love that they make me think of James 1:2.  I see God EVEN when I'm smack dab in the middle of difficulties.  

The "Ghost" is clear!!!!

I didn't used to be a reader.  In fact, at some point in college, I realized I had only ever read "Charlotte's Web."  I wrote a paper on "Pilgrim's Progress", but I know I didn't read the whole book.  I probably just skimmed for sentences that I could expand on.  This is a really sad fact to me.  ESPECIALLY now that I have kids of my own that I would love to see reading all the time, like me!

That's right, in 2008, I finally became "A Reader."  My definition of being a reader:
A reader- always having a book that you are currently reading.
My pace has picked up to about 1 or 2 books per month.  I keep an on-going list of the books I've read (that dates all the way back to when I started in 2008.)  That list reminds me of a silly little list I kept in a billfold of boys that I kissed.  Sad but true.

There is something terrific about books.  They can be used for, an escape, education, entertainment, enrichment, pleasure, teaching, understanding and so much more. 

Anyway, I can get overwhelmed by the list of books that people recommend. Especially if you don't know what they use their reading material for.  I've found that one of my favorite things about reading happens when I come across the correct usage of idioms and such.  So, for now... the coast is clear!

POSITIVE

Often times I can get cynical.  You too?  Phew….. it's not fun to realize that is where I land.  At the end of the day, that's where and when it creeps in.

Cynicism- An attitude of scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others

Because of this inclination that I have, I'm excited to post about what God is doing about this in my life…… How cool is it that our God is so personal, that HE knows this about me, so that when our pastor challenges us to come up with one word for our year, God puts within me the word: POSITIVE!  I'm not kidding….could there be an absolute better opposite word than Positive for the cynicism that I struggle with?

I do believe that our thoughts drive the boat of our lives.  We will do and believe what we think.  I would be shipwrecked if I continued on with the negative thoughts driving the boat of my life for our family.

Did you notice at the beginning of this post, I wrote "at the end of the day?"  Well, I know that's because I begin each day in the word and reading the materials needed to equip myself for each day's battle.  But, my goodness, there must be an expiration hour on those readings that hit around 4:00 each day!!!  When my kiddos were little, I called it the sundown syndrome time of day…aka ,…. the witching hour.  But now, they are the intrusions to the victorious day I've had (while they've been at school!)

Seriously, I do feel like I live in victory during the daylight, but then the sun sets and I begin to feel the downward pull of negativity.  I'm not going to pretend that I understand the science nor the psychology of it.  I will  tell you that I'm in need of our savior at the end of the day JUST AS MUCH as I am at the beginning of the day.

Oh, how in the world does anyone make it in this world without HIM???  I may not do it well, but I will proclaim that I can't do any of it without HIM at all.  Without HIM, I truly am NOTHING.  It is my greatest joy just to be a vessel for others to see HIM in me.  To God be the glory for the great things HE does!!!

Do love.

What love actually does looks different in the many lives with our many make ups.  Love is seen in action.  I know this much is true.

Do you think that friendships are becoming more obsolete due to social media?  I think it's becoming harder for our love to do when we are forming habits of clicking a button with a thumb sticking up.

"Liking" a friends status masquerades what love can do when you look into the eyes of a friend and listen to what is going on in their lives.  I think what is actually happening when we scroll through our news feed is choosing what our preferred content is to digest.  In friendship, the listener isn't in control. They are residing in a sacrificial, loving posture of listening. Listeners are passengers.  By contrast, scrolling makes us the driver.

Conversations need to be taking place between friends.  Unscreened by caller i.d., unannounced at my house and not in a position of control or power via text.

My love is going to do friendship.  If you get a call from me or I show up, let's hang out and try it the old-fashioned way!

An impossible wish

All the fairy tales have this one restriction.  All stories tell it.  I can't make someone love you.

With this in mind, I feel deflated as a parent. I have two daughters where I would honestly use a potion if I could get my hands on some that would make them love each other.

It seems that no amount of discipline or training can teach it.  So, I want to quit.  It's just not in them.  I know, I know.... I should pray about it and for them.  So, I did.  And I did.  I got to lead the Mom's In Prayer group at my house last year for our elementary.  At the end of every school year, we use our last time of meeting together to Praise God for answered prayer.  I did see many answers to our prayers, but the one where my heart sank was the lack of love between these two.  Once again, deflated.

Our annual family camping trip is coming up and I simply don't want to be around those two.  What do you do with that?

I know.  I know.  Pray.

Lord, You know my heart and these deep crevices of pain and struggle watching the potential of a relationship that just won't form.  Would you come into their little hearts and do something BIG and special that would give them a bond that can only point to you?  I'm begging you to move.
I trust you with this endeavor! 

I'm OLD.

The fact that I am "old" doesn't really bother me at all.  I'm not saying it in a "Oh, no you're not!" kind of way.  I actually hate that response.  People think the mention of age or the mention of the arrival of the crinkles and wrinkles mean that I need an opposing comment to balance it out.

Why is that?

Why can't someone just agree with me?

Old is also relative, I know.  But to me....I am old.

I will look at my hands in certain light and see the sagginess.  There you go.  That's a comment I can make about my age without it screaming that I need a rebuttal.  I'm sure there are creams for "younger looking hands" on the market and some people may be insecure about aging hands, but again.....not bothered.

It's strange though, that's all.  I think it just happened sooner than I thought.

Good?

I just finished studying the part in the book of Romans that says that there is NO ONE Righteous.  NO, NOT ONE.

Keep this in mind when I mention these two question that have come up the past few weeks.....

My neighbor's house has been vacant since August.  I'm so.very.ready. for a new neighbor.  I've been so blessed with this little triangle around me and I see how God has richly blessed me with amazing friendships that are on such a deep level that I almost feel a void knowing there is a vacancy, which feels like a friendship not happening.

So, when I see people checking out the house, IF it's convenient... I make my way over for conversation (maybe I see now why it hasn't sold....chuckle!)  No, really, I've only had two conversations with people.

But, in one of those conversations the question was asked if the elementary school that we are zoned in is "good."  I quickly light up and say yes!  I let them know that I lead the prayer group for that school.  When immediately in my heart, I think of Sandy Hook Elementary.  Hmmmm.  Is any elementary school "good"?  Oooh, this got me thinking and a little sad.

The next instance was simply when I thought about an upcoming meeting with a mom whose baby I am about to become a nanny to.  When thinking about meeting with her, I actually had the thought, as fleeting as it was; "Is your baby a "good" baby?"  Yikes.

Who would ask such things?

Someone who wants a life of ease?  Someone afraid?  I'm not judging here as I was one of the ones who thought up such a question.

Don't get me wrong.  I know there are infants that cry a LOT and infants that are pretty laid back and not quite as needy and that is ultimately where the question derives from.  And I know that some elementary schools have better ratings than others.  But when I got to thinking about how all of us are born with a sinful nature and many in the world do not live lives that are controlled by the Spirit, then there are none good....that is apart from Christ!!!

How cool that we are cloaked in HIS righteousness!  The starting verse that I began this post with can make one feel depressed about the world....there is no ONE person that is RIGHTEOUS.  But, I leave you with this:
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them (the spirits that are not of God), because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."  1 John 4:4 (NLT)

Wow, I'm pumped!  Whether evil will happen at my kid's school, or whether the baby I take care of cries the entire time, I'm equipped.  He is greater and He lives in me!!!!  How thankful I am for Jesus and the perfect sacrifice He was for us ALL!

I am HEALED! It's a MIRACLE!!!

THREE weeks ago, I went to an appointment with my doctor to discuss possibly taking my other ovary as the EXACT same pain that I have had this entire past year was still plaguing me.  As I drove to the appointment I prayed that God would remind me of everything I wanted to talk to her about.  That I wouldn't get flustered like I normally do when she walks in.  As I was being led back to the room, the nurse told me I would be examined today and would need to undress waste down.  I really don't know why this caught me so off guard, but it did.

So, there I sat about as vulnerable as you can as I waited.  That's when the tears came.  I was sobbing as I started to put words with my feelings in my head.  I knew I wanted to say that I was angry that the pain was back, frustrated by the pain, scared that I would be judged as someone "claiming" to have "back pain" for pain meds, and in dire need of answers.  So, with a face that has been sobbing and wrinkled kleenex in hand, she finally came into the room.  {Oh, and I had prayed between sobs that God would be in that room and would bring to mind all that I wanted to share and that God would give her wisdom.}

One thing I did not ask God for that HE knew I needed was HIS PEACE.  She pulled up a chair and listened and asked questions and talked options and the more and more we talked about the specifics of it all, the more and more we had peace that this described pain wasn't in fact from the endometriosis.  She has even struggled with lower back pain in her personal life for years. Suddenly when we shifted to that, it was like a heavy load was lifted and I felt that we were finally on the right track as we talked about remedies of working out, stretching, taking anti-inflammatories and alternating with ice and heat.  That was one of the main things that clued us in.  Ice and Heat do not alleviate pain from endometriosis and it alleviated the pain that I had.

At this point, I feel HIS PEACE just fall on me.  I'm suddenly "all good" with it and ready to tackle it from a different angle.  No longer thinking about surgery or pain meds.  That's when she says she'd like to pray with me.  

Even now, the tears are triggered as I recall her complete submission to the Lord.  She asked for His Spirit to let her know if there is anything else she can or should do.  She prayed for healing.  That all the endometriosis she knows is there would be healed and gone.  That my one ovary would not cause any problems.  That I would have wisdom as I pay attention to triggers and so much more.  On and on she went as she held me, lifting me up before Our Father.  I am blessed!

I have Peace!

I have answers!

I am loved!

Since that day, the one particular spot in my back that was my problem has not hurt ONE time.  I believe that I have been HEALED.  God completely surprised me with this!  I was hesitant to say anything to anyone just in case the pain came back.  It hasn't and it is time for God to receive the deserved glory for healing me!!!!  I feel so personally and intimately loved by Him that how can I stay quiet about this?

For those of you that do know me and my back pain history, I just want to clarify...I still have a "bad back" :(  It's just in my genes, but the specific pain that I had for over a year that brought me to the two surgeries I had last year, is GONE.  To GOD be the GLORY!  Great and miraculous things He has done!