Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Ugly Side

We all have them. Today my ugly side is all I see. It almost feels as if my internal hard-drive within my body has wires crossed. Things aren't connecting or making much sense. Emotions. are. out. of. control.
So, it's what to do when I feel like this?

Throw the towel in? Sleep? Take a pill? Get drunk? Read a book? Cry? Those are just a few options that cross my mind! So, this time, instead of doing any of those options, I thought I'd try writing. Vulnerably. I'm really always vulnerable on here, but I also use getting control of my emotions as about my only filter. I simply haven't been able to today, so I'm here.

I don't understand why little things are the big things to me during such times. I thought I'd have more time to write about this, but really, what more is there to say? Plus, it's time for me to attend our Saturday night church service. I don't "want" to go. I know I "should/need" to go, so therefore, I'm going.

Sorry such a strange post, but there ya have it!!!!


Mari said...

i hear you...this is real...truthful...and temporary!

Chelle said...

Hope the night improved and your pretty side opened up a can of whoop a** on your ugly side :)

Nikkie said...

somedays, I am right there with you. i liken it to the flesh. not fun to be in my skin on those days! love ya, my friend.

Mimi said...

Don't all those "feelings" of wanting to do something to satisfy our longings just show us all the more our NEED of Jesus?? One day we will be rid of this body of sin and death!! What a day of rejoicing that will be!!

Christy said...

I hear ya, I Know how that is. The feeling of being overwhelmed with anything that is thrown your way. I have been there, and I still go there sometimes.

I think it is in the midst of those times the we remember the absolute NEED for a Savior!

I will be praying for you and know that HE is near and ready to listen.

shanna said...

I love your honesty about where your at. Being a mom is a struggle for me to. I am constantly asking Him to sift my emotions through His Truth! I love and miss you my sweet, sweet friend!!!!!