2 Timothy 4:7 comes to mind.
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
I could possibly quote that at the end of my race in April, but will I be able to quote it at the end of my life?
With a 16 week beginner's training program, I can see what I've done, what I need to do and most importantly, I can see the end!!! I've heard it said that the training is harder than the actual marathon. But, as I plug that verse into the concept of training in my life, I quickly realize why I haven't trained for anything. I'm not good at it. I can look at where I am in my life as a training schedule with motherhood. Currently I've got 9 years down and 12 1/2 to go. We all know that Motherhood doesn't "end" when the last one is out of the house, but that is the end date I'm using for my story to work here ;)
Seriously, can I just vent about how long I have to go? I thought the pre-school years were the hardest and physically they WERE. But, the constant bickering and sibling rivalry and snotty attitudes is making me wonder if I could say such things... I've fought the good fight, I've finished the race, I've kept the faith. Right now, all I see myself saying is: "I have questioned IF I can do this anymore. I have thought about walking out. I have exploded and been a bad example. And all this is taken from 2nd Opinion 2:17
Staying focused on the prize is what will get me there. I know that we are to fix our eyes on Jesus. Sometimes the look I have fixed on him is as bad as the look on my children's faces. Of course, now that I think about it, training for a marathon is NOTHING like the training I'm in as a mother. I have realized as a Mom that there is NOTHING I can do apart from Christ. I will fail every single time in every single instance with my girls if it weren't for the Spirit that lives and dwells within me. A marathon.... now that can be done physically apart from Christ's help. Oh, I've just messed up my whole spiritual analogy.
I think what's really happening here is that I had two topics to write about. The fact that I'm in a training program for a marathon and the fact that I'm in a really difficult place as a mother. Rather than deleting, I'm leaving my story out there because I feel like it accurately depicts where I am today!
5 comments:
I hear what you are saying, I am right there with you... the whole attitude issue we are dealing with our 8 year old son... and it stinks. It constantly makes me wonder if that is the way I have been with him, or if it really a phase. I question my parenting all the time because of it, but it does bring me to my knees all the time for my children and for my parenting, and for God to help me just chill out.
My heart goes out to you, I am running the parenting race with you. Just remember this, He won't give you anything that you can't handle, and He will strengthen you when you are weary... HE HOLDS YOU!
Praying for you today
right there with you, my friend! hard work. i've trained for and finished a marathon~not sure i'll do it again : ) and motherhood training is much more difficult! great job on the marathon training...coming across that finish line is an awesome feeling!
maybe just maybe one day in the very...very distant future I might train for a marathon???? and maybe not. LOL!! Running + Mari is comparable to oil + water haha!
But I am jealous that others get out there and have the devotion and commitment to do it! My husband is a runner and loves it...he really wants to do a marathon. anyway...blahblahblah
Parenting is a struggle and for me definitely an area God is using to reveal how much work needs to be done in my very selfish heart! Your right I can do nothing apart from him in that area.
Loved the 2 opinion 2:17!!
;)
Even though I am a father I understand what you are saying and hope that this change of path that I have taken gets to be a down hill glide soon. This up hill stuff is getting old quick.
From an outsider looking in you are doing great with your mother training. Good luck on the running thing, I'm out on that.
You are not alone Rachel. Thanks for what you shared and your honesty. Sometimes it scares me to share some things I am struggling with because I wonder what others will think. PRIDE!!!!!!! When you said sibling rivalry and attitudes...I am right there. Many days I fail with my attitude and my reactions. One thing I try to remember is that God's mercies are new EVERY morning. I am believing God's promises that what He has called me to do (be a Mommy) HE (not Keli) is faithful to do it (Hebrews). Hope you have a great week.
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