Wednesday, September 9, 2009

A Bad Mix

There are just some days where events keep colliding, causing an explosion. Here I sit with the aftermath of such an exploded day. It began last night. I had a procedure that was to free me from pain every month. I am not freed. Last night, the unwelcomed pain began. My morning commitments of volunteering for my daughter's Kindergarten class and my daughter's 1st grade class came. Dedicated, I showed up. With cramps, I did the tedious work all the way until 11:45. Then, I hurried home to take food to a friend recovering from surgery. I hustled back up to the school where my new commitment of media center volunteer began. The training was quick and painless and I jumped right in helping children with their choices!
The bad mix began when I picked up the girls from their classes and walked outside. It is September. You'd think it would be nice to walk outside in September.... Well, I forget that OK is ridiculous! It was a heat index of a blazin' 98 degrees!!!! Uuugh.

Air conditioner blaring and headed to run a quick errand, my children fall apart, each in their own way :(
I find that I have nothing left after a wonderful day of serving. Don't get me wrong..... I actually ENJOYED what I did today (ALL day) at the school. I LOVED the brief, but golden conversation that I had with everyone there. I was just spent and truly felt empty of anything to give to my girls or to respond in a decent way. I grit my teeth and tried to just make it home.

So, at home, my loving, amazing, wonderful and patient husband begins tackling the attitudes while I sit in my room and cry. The tears fall from frustration of feeling like I'm getting no where with the girls. ARe they seriously not learning these lessons that I've been teaching for all these years? When they say that, "Mom is being mean!" I truly want to BE MEAN just to show them what MEAN is. They don't even know how much discipline I am showing by what I am withholding.

So, in reflection, I have decided that some things just don't mix. Today I found one combination I don't prefer. Onto better mixes for other days!!!!

4 comments:

Chelle said...

First of all, sorry you are still having all the pain. Ick.

Secondly, kids (even adults) need constant repetition. Shoot, studies show the area of the brain responsible for making judgement decisions isn't even developed until our 20s. Expect great things, but show mercy (much like God does with us).

Ease up on yourself friend, you are doing a good job, a good job indeed.

colorfulwoman said...

hmmmm...praying for you friend...I understand! Liss you:)

colorfulwoman said...

that is...MISS you(not liss you!)

Nikkie said...

i feel ya sister. some combos are just not great combos. onto another day!....and we press on.