For Heather and Stacey

Dear Mean Lady in my Neighborhood,

What a beautiful day it was today. I am so excited that after years of praying for something specific to help me bond with one of my daughters, the perfect answer has come. We decided to start running together. I have never seen her face ignite with such enthusiasm as I did on our run today.

Did you see her face when you passed by? Or were you too busy being concerned about how much of our neighborhood street the two of us were taking up? Multiple times on our run together, I spotted potentially dangerous areas where the sidewalk was necessary and chose that option for the two of us. However, when you approached, I saw that there were no parked cars on the road to make it too tight to go on and pass us by. I saw that we were on a straight portion of road. And I ALSO saw that as your car came dangerously close to our bodies, you didn't budge!

Thanks for honking because that was really polite.... just in case I didn't notice that you didn't like that we were running on the street two wide. My daughter thought you honked because we might have known each other. You can imagine how hard I had to bite my tongue on my response to that innocent observation.

In the future, if it's clear enough to give up your space on the road for a mother and daughter to enjoy spending some quality time outside together, THEN GIVE THEM SPACE. And you can even honk IF you are going to smile and wave!

With a little bit of weight lifted,
Rachel <><

Blog Post Titles

Blogs I've started in my head that haven't made it here:

Dear Spider

Not one particular Idol...

Dear Mean lady in my neighborhood

Verbal Abuse

In Christ

The Grass isn't as green...

Maybe by actually putting these here, I'll refer to them when I finally get a chance to write again. :)
Hope all is well.

Work Out

After my duel with the bike last weekend it seems that I'm just in a dueling mode. I found an old Garmin Forerunner on Craigslist to try to run with. My desire in having a Forerunner type product is simple: I want to look at my watch and know how far I've gone. I don't need much else. The frustrations of this endeavor are stacking way too high for me to re-tell. My duel with the actual running is that I haven't been doing it much. Here I was on a wonderful pattern or routine and it was all broken up with me stupid bike episode from my last post. So, I'm trying once again to get back into a great routine. I keep thinking that things will get much better in me if I do.

See, I'm having that inner junk that rises within so often. Kind of too complex to put into words. It's right here in this assessment that I almost always "Work Out" the problem. Isn't almost ALWAYS a Heart Issue? Today, I will go on a run and call it a "work out", but really I am going to work out what is going on within my heart!!!!

Enchanted Circle

Usually, I come back from trips and tell about how wonderful they were on here. Well, Nick calls it "The Perfect Storm for my Bad Ride!!!"
Where to begin? I'll start with sharing the album of our whole trip here!!!!

So, if you looked at the pictures, you'll see the smiles on my girls faces!!! It was a wonderful memory maker for them. Papa and Grammy drove down from the Springs to meet us and we had a great reunion together. If we had met to do just that, then the trip would have been fine. BUT~

.....I wanted to ride 100 miles from Red River to Taos to Angel Fire, and back to Red River...... yeah, in the mountains at altitude without training! So, we load up the family in the car. We make it halfway before realizing that we can't make it there that night. We get a hotel (a fun memory for the kids!!!!) and a whopping price tag for us. We hit the road again. The 4 1/2 hours in the car the day before wasn't the best thing for the sciatic pain I was having in my back/leg. So the 4 1/2 this next day certainly didn't help it either. We have s'mores that night and that made for a good day :) (another fun memory for the kids!)

Nick and I hit it early in the morning..... I could have told you from the first 5 miles that were downhill that was proving to be challenging for me that I wouldn't be riding a century that day, but no.... I had to keep going. Finally around mile 40, my muscles cramped up tight enough to communicate to my brain that this ride wasn't going to happen. It was at that time that we found out that most people who do this ride usually come with their own SAG (support and Gear....aka a car to get into when you cramp up or bonk.) So, some kind guy takes us up to the next rest stop where we wait and wait and wait for some mythical SAG wagon to show up. It never does. So, same nice guy takes us to Angel Fire where Nick's parents help us out. The next four hours are too painful to re-live so, I'll just say that after the hail storm that even cars couldn't get over the pass in, only half of the riders crossed the finish line that day.

Guess what? I got to get in the car the next day with that same sciatic pain and grin and bear it for 9 hours until we made it home scratching our heads about the trip in general. I actually sent my kids to school wearing dirty clothes and having tangles in their hair and in dire need of a bath this morning. :( Bad parent? Nope, just one that needed to re-group a bit. So, if you see me wearing and "Enchanted Circle Century" t-shirt, just know that there is a story there that I will never re-tell.

A Bad Mix

There are just some days where events keep colliding, causing an explosion. Here I sit with the aftermath of such an exploded day. It began last night. I had a procedure that was to free me from pain every month. I am not freed. Last night, the unwelcomed pain began. My morning commitments of volunteering for my daughter's Kindergarten class and my daughter's 1st grade class came. Dedicated, I showed up. With cramps, I did the tedious work all the way until 11:45. Then, I hurried home to take food to a friend recovering from surgery. I hustled back up to the school where my new commitment of media center volunteer began. The training was quick and painless and I jumped right in helping children with their choices!
The bad mix began when I picked up the girls from their classes and walked outside. It is September. You'd think it would be nice to walk outside in September.... Well, I forget that OK is ridiculous! It was a heat index of a blazin' 98 degrees!!!! Uuugh.

Air conditioner blaring and headed to run a quick errand, my children fall apart, each in their own way :(
I find that I have nothing left after a wonderful day of serving. Don't get me wrong..... I actually ENJOYED what I did today (ALL day) at the school. I LOVED the brief, but golden conversation that I had with everyone there. I was just spent and truly felt empty of anything to give to my girls or to respond in a decent way. I grit my teeth and tried to just make it home.

So, at home, my loving, amazing, wonderful and patient husband begins tackling the attitudes while I sit in my room and cry. The tears fall from frustration of feeling like I'm getting no where with the girls. ARe they seriously not learning these lessons that I've been teaching for all these years? When they say that, "Mom is being mean!" I truly want to BE MEAN just to show them what MEAN is. They don't even know how much discipline I am showing by what I am withholding.

So, in reflection, I have decided that some things just don't mix. Today I found one combination I don't prefer. Onto better mixes for other days!!!!

Great Season, Bad Day

So, I didn't stretch in a sprint across a finish line and break the finisher tape. Because if I did, I wouldn't still be struggling. I do love and appreciate this new season of parenting I'm in, but when these bad days come, I can't be shocked. (especially when they didn't have school yesterday and today!)

I wanted to update on this new season. Along with the kiddos being back in school, I am back in Fall Bible Study. I am doing a Precept Study of Ephesians. Right before starting the homework, I had a prayer. I want to WANT to study His Word MORE. I want to want it for the right reasons. I want a new passion that is really just within. I'm not begging for a mountain top experience, just a simple kindling within me to study with the purpose of KNOWING our God more and glorifying HIM.

Well, I believe He has already answered. On my runs, I no longer have to have loud up-itty music blaring to get me through the routine of it anymore. I have started using some of the time to listen to podcasts. Sermons. The WORD going in more continually. I am thrilled at being fed in more than one area in my walk with Jesus. I kind of feel at times that I'm taking too much in.

Soooooo......I might start changing some of my posts to be more about what I'm learning so that I work on retention and application.

Plus, all of this will help me through those bad days :)