So, I'm VBS hopping. That's right. I'm in my second week at a second church. I just might be posting this with a little guilt. Like this just might be a confession. Neither of the churches are one we attend either.... okay, now it's all coming out.
Seriously, I don't see harm in it. I'm getting a break. They are hearing bible stories, singing songs, making crafts, eating snacks and making friends. I couldn't orchestrate all of those things in one week. So, It is GOOD all around.
I really do struggle with these long summer days. I do love our new home and it has definitely proved to be more beneficial to us with some extra space and a place for the girls to ride their bikes (when it's not a hundred degrees outside....which will be like in October!) But, I will say that I've allowed my girls to watch more T.V. than they ever have in their lives!!! Hmm, another confession. I may have just come up with a good name this post...
So, since this appears to be full-blown confession time... I ran into a friend the other day who has struggled through much of her motherhood as I have. We were both sad to report that we are in the "same ole, same ole'" place. When will I wake up and have VICTORY?
It appears that God likes to keep and hold me right in this place. I don't know what else to do. What is it exactly that I'm trying so hard to get out of anyway? Hardship is just part of life. Isn't it futile to try to fight my way out of this particular hardship? I fear I will turn numb in the process upon realizing that this just won't end. Wow, now I sound really depressing, but this is a time for me to confess where my heart is and this is where I am.
So, this isn't a plea for prayer (although I always covet prayers for me to biblically train my children.) This isn't me sounding an alarm that I'm all depressed. I am simply stating that summer is proving to be a difficult time for me. I remember when I had three pre-schoolers and people would ask me how my summer was going. There was no such thing as summer to me then. IT was ALL just hard. Now, summer is a break from what they are normally involved in and I'm just re-visiting some of that hard. Only it is a different hard. Much less physical and way more emotionally (and spiritually) draining and they aren't even teenagers yet!
4 comments:
Summer is always tough for me, too, because of the lack of structure. Even though I look forward to it, it proves to be difficult.
I can totally relate to that "disgusting side" of yourself that you have discovered in mothering. My very strong-willed second son was a chisel in the hand of God, chipping away at my self-righteous perspective. Thru him, I learned why I need a Savior. I was continually humbled as I struggled to love and lead him. Here's to the journey....! God bless you, and thanx for sharing.
jeannemiller
ooo, me too! Summer is my LEAST favorite season. Don't feel guilty! Guilt is one nasty sucker in our mom minds. I've struggled with no matter which way I turn I should be doing something else syndrome! Gotta let that go!
You're doing a great job!
this is my first stint as a stay at home this summer...for reasons beyond my control - my health - i have had to resign my job...anyway....i am struggling to find things to do with my kids..especially my youngest...he is 10 my oldest is 18....anyway...we have a schedule...mondays we go to the library to practice our reading...tuesday we do an hour of math...wednesday we go outside and do some science...thursday we work on spelling and friday we do something way fun if we have kept to our schedule...i know it sounds weird that i have this schedule set but my son is adhd and needs structure...so just know the heat is the reason we struggle with summer...not because we have lost our creativity...lol
Post a Comment