Bribe or Reward... Motive?

"I'll give you a piece of gum IF you clean your room while I'm getting ready!"

Did I really just say that this morning? This was like 5 minutes after rewarding them with a jelly bean for playing so well together. Can those two rewards be any more different? I mean, one of them is this bribe.... the expected, the target, the end result, the motive. The other is a complete surprise and I would dare to say even more appreciated.

As I turned my head upside down to dry my hair my thoughts twisted the scenario around. How much am I like a child seeking a reward or working for the bribe. While I may not be sold on gum or jelly beans, there are definite things I go after. They just look different.

Today I contemplate what is driving me to do well. To be good. To make the right choice. I'm full of a sin nature that only wants to gratify itself. I also am indwelt with the HOLY Spirit of God that prompts, convicts, teaches, urges and so much more. So, it is good to pay attention to what is driving and motivating me. That will pinpoint which I am serving. So, as I even think a thought, I will see where the root of my thought began. Am I looking out for me as #1 or am I putting to death me SO THAT there is room in my moment by moment for God to do His thing?

The reason for thinking all of this today? I'm back at it. Our plane landed last night and I came home to routine. Funny (and sad) to see how long it takes me to fall into frustration. On vacation, self gets the best of you. It's not that I wasn't serving Christ while away, I just have three little reminders that walk around my house practically pointing at my selfishness.

Thank you, Lord for your gentle reminders of what you use to grow me! You, CREATOR of the UNIVERSE care about my growth and I feel so humbled that YOU know me so intimately. Help me to nail anything that is sprouting up within me that has taken root in the wrong nature. <><

Memories

Wilmington, NC was where we lived for less than two years. It's strange to be back here five years later. I'm noticing as we have driven down "memory lane" that this place means two totaly different things to us. I found great people and places to plug into and get established. Nick, on the other hand traveled and never really connected. So, being here feels like vacation to him. It feels like a place where he came every now and then. I can remember feeling like a single mom when we lived here. He was never here. I am so thankful that in the last five years in OK we have established healthy wonderful memories together. Being here shows me that this was something we didn't really have together.
So, I'm thankful for where we are in life and that we get to come here as a getaway!!! Here is a picture of us outside of The Oceanic Restaurant on Wrightsville Beach!!!

Amazing

My husband is amazing!!!!

I woke up this morning prepared for my husband to kiss me goodbye for a trip that I know he has had planned for months. I fully geared myself up for being single mom for 5 days. As his packing time approached, my Mom walked in the door to pick up my girls.... what?

My husband pulled off a surprise!!! I had one hour to pack my bags to go to NC with him on this five day trip that I was dreading. Wow! Are you in shock like I was? Dang..... he pulled it off! I knew nothing. The day before I was googling vacation packages. See, we had been talking about celebrating our 10 year anniversary this August!!! He did it. We are celebrating my Birthday (last saturday) and our anniversary. We flew into Raleigh. Just landed at an awesome restaurant in Chapel Hill, NC before driving to Asheville. This restaurant was something we stumbled upon by using some silly application on my iPhone. We were trying for some Italian restaurant and ended up right at the UNC campus and going to a famous place suggested by some people passing by on the street!!! It was called Top of the Hill Restaurant & Brewery. Great place!!!! Now we're hitting the road for the rest of what he has planned. We had just enough time to stop and buy a movie on iTunes for our drive. Have a great week!!!!

Pride

Hungry for some of the Humble Pie that I had a dose of this morning? Well, I am full and want to live off watermelon for two weeks just to cleanse myself of this muck. Ready for it?
I had to just delete my recent post because it felt like all I was doing was saying: "Look at me! Look what I can do!" A tone I'm not so inclined to. I've had a wonderful time here in CO with family, but I sure did feel that my tone was almost that I'd be a better person if I lived back in Colorado again. I seriously felt pride when I lived here. If I'd snowboard and talk to people on the lifts, I felt more awesome if I could say that I was from CO, not OK. How shallow and sad is that? Wow! I am so glad that I'm catching this at a this point (when we are contemplating moving back) so that I can nip this in the bud!
So, Spring Break has been fun! I'll post the one picture I had that shows the priceless stair-step cousins together. (my three girls in the middle) This could be the only year for that as soon they'll even out! Blessings to you all <><

Time to Boast

I just need to boast on here today the biblical way. I've been studying, "LORD, I Need Grace To Make it Today" by Kay Arthur and I am learning so much about appropriating grace by faith. I'm re-memorizing 2 Corinthians 12: 9 & 10. Of course, verses 7 through 10 are all wonderful to put perspective on this kind of boasting. I'll put it here just so you don't have to look it up if you don't know what I'm referring to:

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (New Living Translation)
7 even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.
8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I BOAST about my weakness. Being a selfish, struggling mother is my weakness that is used to show God's power. I used to think that the "thorn" was my weakness, but my weakness is truly found in my response to the thorn. God places things or circumstances in our lives that we may beg of Him to remove. By not removing it, a platform is in place to show God's power!!!! Wow! Listen to some out of her book:

I long for the grace of God to be so engraved on our minds and hearts that we will be freed from a lifetime of attitudes, misconceptions, and independence which keep us from appropriating His grace in all its sufficiency.
Deliverance from the power of sin comes as you cease your striving in the flesh and cast yourself in dependence upon Him. When you are dependent upon Him, you will find His grace is always sufficient.
Defeated Christians have little power and are not effective because they fail to appropriate God's grace. Grace is power.

I have been in such a funk lately full of unhappiness. During this time I have stayed in the Word and keeping my heart prostrate out of humility mostly but also in pleading with the Lord for His help. I don't want to remain in this "defeated Christian" place. Thank you, Lord for your GRACE that helps me make it today!

underlying unhappiness

I just can't put my finger on it, but I am soooo tired and soooo unhappy. Not much else to say! Maybe, just a request for prayer from anyone who happens to read this silly little blog!!!
Thanks <><

My Dad

After one year from his first heart attack, we celebrated His life. We invited people over and gathered around to pray and talk about what God did in a lot of us from his heart attack and the closeness of him dying. It was a wonderful time remember and celebrating his life. About five days after that (this past sunday night/monday morning) he ended up back at the heart hospital with some heart complications. Thankfully he got to go home today. I really was only going to put a link where my Mom wrote about it because I've just not had enough energy or time to write lately.... so here IT is :)