NYC

I've never been to NYC!  So, when something came up that would require Nick to go for work, I was quick to hop on that trip.  I'm so excited to finally go and experience New York.  However, I must say in that very same breath that I am overwhelmed.  Where do I begin?  I've been online and reading everything just makes me wish we could have even more time there.

So, I've resorted to using my blogpost as an outlet for my research.  Please, tell me your best advise on must see's and must do's during our time there.  We will be there mid October.

Oh, and when I went to ask my parents to watch our kiddos while we go, I discovered they'd never been either.  Thankfully we found friends to watch the girls so that the four of us adults can experience it together.

We'd love to see a broadway show and that alone I'm struggling with because of the reviews I've been reading.  I've ALWAYS been told how wonderful Wicked is, so that's the one I was shocked to read something negative about.  Mary Poppins looks great!  Anyone know anything about Jersey Boys or The Book of Mormon?  Any input is appreciated!!!!!

Time

All summer the hummingbirds have flocked to the feeders outside my window.  This morning is the first that I have heard their hum from inside my house.  That's right!  It's a quiet house that I'm sitting in.  School started this morning.


It's fun to see all the pics of kiddos wearing their backpacks, loading on buses with sharpened pencils and smiles on their faces.  There's a lot of talk of how time flies and don't blink because you just might miss it.

It's true that something crazy happens with "time" when the kids start school.  But logic tells me that time is all the same whether you stay at home with little pre-schoolers, following a schedule that includes naps and snack time and play dates, and bath time.  Or whether it's the long, hot days of summer.  Or sending a child to Middle School for the first time.... I know that there is always 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year, so nothing really speeds up.  So, why does it feel like they grow up fast?

Regardless of why it feels like that, I'm thrilled to watch my children grow each year!  The head taller, the teeth larger, their eyes smarter!  What a natural process to grow and change with each passing day.

Diagnosis

For quite some time, I've suffered with lower back pain.  I've tried chiropractors, medication, and Pilates.  I've had x.rays and massages.  It was only getting worse.  So, I finally went to an orthopedic doctor who picked up on the fact that it might have been OB related.  I immediately made an appointment with my OB who examined me and did an ultrasound.  The suspicion was endometriosis.  

So last week, I went in for a laparoscopy and my doctor said that as soon as she put the scope in she was amazed at how much endometriosis there was.  I was covered.  She used a laser to remove as much as she could, but later told me that she couldn't set the temperature low enough to get it off of some major blood vessels without damaging them in the process.  A hysterectomy is in my future.

It feels very strange to me to diagnosed with something that is serious, but not life-threatening.  It's like it's a big deal, but it's not.

The thing that I can't stop praising my God for is the timing.  I keep thanking Him for allowing the endometriosis to not grow and implant until my late 30's when I've had my three daughters.  I remember early on discussing birth control with my husband, saying that I was scared to take it in my own hands and say I wanted to choose to have kids later in our marriage.  I even expressed to him my fear of "controlling" it and missing my window or messing my body up in the process leaving me unable to have children.
I know this disease is a huge blow to many women  because of it stripping them of the opportunity to bear children.  So, I accept this diagnosis with praises on my lips to a God who kept it at bay until this time.

Honeymoon

It's a time for celebration!!!! I am in the "honeymoon" stages of parenting. This stage of life with my kiddos is so enjoyable! This is the last year they are all three at the same school (elementary.) I have heard the warnings of what will come. Some have horror stories of the infamous teenage years. Some have some sweet stories. I just know that for today, I LOVE these girls of mine and the relationships I have with each of them.

Instead of fearing what is to come, I walk in a contented place today. I will pray that this continues as Nick and I prayed our honeymoon would never end.

After 12 1/2 years of marriage, our honeymoon really hasn't ended. Our life together is an extended honeymoon and now that I've arrived at this place with my children I am encouraged by the answered prayer with my husband that I can boldly ask God for this "honeymoon" stage of parenting to never end.

Father~
I thank you for bringing me to this place of total joy in parenting these girls You've entrusted to me. Thank you for the relationships built between us. Continue to give me wisdom and sustain me through the bumps! May this sweet stage be our way of life. May we walk in joy and contentment until the end of age!

Today's Assessment

After going this long without posting anything, I feel as if what I write now must be the biggest and best post ever after such a long silence.

Well, sorry to disappoint, but I'm just writing to write again.... Nothing HUGE. Nothing that will go viral.

I went to bible study this morning where we talked about Peter. Oh, how I'm growing to love Peter the more I study about him and his relationship with Jesus. I can identify with Peter in many ways. One thing that was mentioned this morning was that as believers, we must be able to recognize our rebellion. When we see our sin as sin and humbly repent, then right relationship with Jesus happens.

All too often, the external stuff (works), continue on even when our hearts are not in the right place. I began thinking about this blog. It's title is "A Heart Assessment" because I need to always be evaluating, assessing, scrutinizing, testing, watching, checking the condition of my heart.

What's crazy is after this time of studying the word together with other believers, I had a doctor's appointment, followed by lab work, followed by an ultrasound; which has left me reading things on the internet trying to scrutinize, diagnose, assess my physical pain.

When it comes to my back pain, I feel like that tiny ball in a pin ball machine being bounced around from doctor to doctor and left falling between the opening in the bottom without answers.


But, when it comes to assessing the condition of my heart..... guess what? I have solid answers from the word of God!

I end this post with the encouragement that God's word gives us when we take a look at our hearts in humble honesty.
Psalm 51:17 "You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."

Thank you, Lord that your compassions are new every morning. That your faithfulness is Great! That you forgive sins. That no one is abandoned by your forever. That you can be trusted. That you offer Peace. And that you LOVE (Agapao) us. -Amen-

Random Thoughts on Authority

I know it has been WAY too long! I think up many "posts" in my mind if that counts for anything! It counts to me because I actually write for growth. So, If I'm still writing in my head, then hopefully I'm still growing through many life lessons.

One thought I've been pondering lately is authority.

Jesus had ultimate authority during his time here on earth. I've been doing a Precept Study on the book of Matthew and his many miracles show what He had/has authority over. (demons, disease, nature). But, as I've been thinking about the word, authority, I just can't help but hear the root word, author. As an author you can take a story wherever you want.... You are the author. If God is the author and perfecter of our life, then why do we even want the reigns?

I'm not the author. I'm not the potter. I am the clay to be molded and I am the character to be shaped BY HIM. He is the author and I give HIM total authority without pretending to have any of it myself.

*on an authority side note*

I hear one daughter trying to tell the other daughter what to do. When the listening daughter doesn't obey the command. Commanding daughter says...and I quote: "MOM!!! Tell ____ to ________!" So, without skipping a beat and practically in a monotone voice I repeat the phrase.

This got an internal giggle of my mind. I am always telling my children the rules to follow, the behavior to do and choices to make. But, if they don't obey me when I'm teaching, why would they think I have ANY authority to get one of their sisters to DO something they can't get them to do?

Doh!

"The anger of a parent confronted with a child's poor choice shifts the focus from the child's bad behavior to the parent's angry response." - You Version Parenting by Design Daily Devotional

I'm hearing the Homer Simpson response in my head....."DOH!"

This is my greatest struggle right now in my mother role. I've always been told that we are the "tone-setters" of the home and generally I'm good with that. I even feel like I am consistent in disciplining and not withholding consequences to their actions.... but, about my angry response to their poor choices? Fail. 100% fail. I'm just as immature as they are when it comes to the tantrum I have.

Oh, how I need help. Any suggestions would be great. Prayer would be best! Thanks... :)

Lord, How I need you in this area. I hate that my response to the kiddos making the wrong choice angers me. Please help me to shepherd them as you do me. Give me the ability to be self-controlled and patient with their mistakes. In your precious name, Amen