Dis-Ease

Teeny tiny bores ate through our huge pine tree in our back yard. We had to pay to get it removed and then shell out the money to get a new small tree. Well, this spurred me on to finally attack the beds in the back. As I started with trimming the hedges and pulling weeds, I noticed that four bushes were diseased as well. Not only did our tree have to be removed, but now I had to uproot four bushes and two other plants. As I did this, I thought about how we get diseases. I thought about the word "disease." I have said on this blog before that my thinking is flawed to expect life to be problem free or easy. So, why am I shocked when something in my life has dis-ease? If I would only expect a difficult prognosis with each circumstance, then I wouldn't be disappointed. A life of ease is unrealistic. May I accept the dis-ease in my life with more grace.

Re-arrange

I am so excited to have a new look here.....I LOVE LOVE LOVE change!!! I am known for constantly re-arranging furniture at random...so I guess to stay in sync with the rest of my life, my blog must follow!
So, kudos to this free layout from Simply Fabulous!!! It is so wonderful to find someone so talented who offers her stuff for free! She has great options for any of you who want to change it up.

Day 18

I've written a post before about Ruth Meyer's 31 Days of Praise. But, yesterday after reading Day 18 on April 18th, I thought that I just HAVE to type it all out here because it's that good and it's exactly what I need for the stage of life that I'm in. So, here it goes:

"Father, I'm so delighted that You are both loving and sovereign.....and that You cause all things to work together for good to those who love You, to those who are called according to Your purpose. So I thank You for each disturbing or humbling situation in my life.....for each breaking or cleansing process You are allowing.....for each problem or hindrance.....for each thing that triggers in me anxiety or anger or pain.....And I thank You in advance for each disappointment, each demanding duty, each pressure, each interruption that may arise in the coming hours and days.

In spite of what I think or feel when I get my eyes off You, I choose not to resist my trials as intruders, but to welcome them as friends.

Thank You that each difficulty is an opportunity to see You work.....that in Your time You will bring me out to a place of abundance.....I rejoice that You plan to enrich and beautify me through each problem, each conflict, each struggle.....that through them You expose my weaknesses and needs, my hidden sins, my self-centerdness (and especially my self-reliance and pride-or my desire to feel self-reliant and superior).....Thank You that You use trials to humble me and perfect my faith and produce in me the quality of endurance.....that they prepare the soil of my heart for the fresh new growth in godliness that You and I both long to see in me.....and that my momentary troubles are producing for me an eternal glory that far outweighs them all, as I keep my eyes focused on You.....I'm grateful that You look beyond my superficial desire for a trouble-free life; instead, You fulfil my deep-down desire to glorify You, enjoy Your warm fellowship, and become more like Your Son."

I cried through this and Nick came to take a picture of me (because He thought our dog was so cute.) I can't wait until next month when it's the 18th again. I love reading through this. It is a discipline that I'm glad to do because of the changed outlook that I gain through praising our Father!

Frustrations

I'm wondering if frustrations are tied directly to expectations. I live the majority of my days in a frustrated mode. Partially because of the stage of life I'm in with child rearing. But also, I think it's because of the things I expect. You see I have a dangling carrot in front of me. It's that life will get easier when.....

....the children are out of diapers
....I'm not scheduling around naps
....we can all eat the same food-no baby food this, toddler food that
....they sleep through the night
....I'm no longer in transition
....I don't have to buckle all three in seatbelts.

Well, here's how I know that is flawed thinking. I am past ALL of those. And now, theres a whole different list. A list that is pointless in writing out simply because I've learned that "life will get easier" is the part that is wrong. Whoever said it would be easy? Why do we assume it should be easy? So, in understanding this, I still struggle with the acceptance of it and therefore, I live in frustration.
I mentioned the dangling carrot. I refer to this a lot when things don't happen that I think will happen. A bike ride. A Girls Night Out. A date night. A day off. A vacation. I'm holding on until this "carrot" happens. When that carrot is taken away, I'm left with frustration.
I guess now I'm trying to find out how to not sin in my frustration. I so want to be more easy-going. I want to handle disappointment well!

In the Midst of It

I love that phrase, "In the midst of it." How amazing is that promise that God is right there in the middle of every single thing in our lives!!!!

In my struggle, I know that God is in the midst of it.
God is in the midst of all of my emotions.
He is in the midst of my depression.
He is in the midst of my joy.
He's in the midst of my growth.

I'm just thankful that in every high and in every low of each and every day, God is in the midst of it.

Thank You

I am pleased to announce that we had a sit down dinner last night and I had a smile in my heart. I know it will be baby steps in this endeavor of getting back on track with meals. I appreciate ALL of your helpful comments!!!

I chuckle because my plan for tonight is already thrown out the window because of other things in life!!! *grin*

(btw, this isn't what my table looked like last night, but it sure felt like it!)

What's For Dinner?

We don't use the "h" word in our family....."hate." So for me to say this on my blog feels like I'm betraying my family in some way, but I'm doing it anyway!

I HATE making dinner. It's always been a struggle of mine. Meal Planning. Blech! I will try so hard to motivate myself. I'll google for ideas. I'll read magazine articles of what works for other families. I politely listen to ideas, but inside I'm rolling my eyes with an "I don't want to do it" attitude.

I've visited many blogs and tried to be inspired by shared recipies, but I end up in frustration over one ingredient that I'm not familiar or comfortable with. I hear tips of getting my children involved in the kitchen with me and I cringe. I don't know what to do. My sweet husband says as kindly as he can that I need to do something....anything! He's absolutely right. I do need to do something to fix this horrible problem of mine. I hear the words, "What's for dinner?" And I get defensive, like yeah, what's for dinner? Why is this my problem? Here it is 5:30 and I have every member of the family looking at me wanting to know what I'm going to do.

The thing of it is, I feel like I'm pretty good at keeping up house. I have the freezer stocked for anyone to make themselves at home. I have the pantry stocked with snacks. I have the fridge stocked and ready to go....I just don't want to be the one to do the going (cooking, preparing, whatever.)

I have laundry done. I have the dust removed from the place it lands almost daily. I have a spotless kitchen so why would I be motivated to dirty it. I've purchase back up q.tips, hygeine stuff, trash bags....etc. It's like I pride myselft on being well stocked and a great keeper of the home, but when it comes to dinner....uuugh!

Is anyone hearing my issue here?

So, I dare to ask for any help or suggestions. I'm desperate. I get too frustrated searching on my own, so what works for you? How do you plan dinners for your family? Do you struggle with the mundane part of it?

I'll tell you the one thing I tried tonight. I wrote on the chalkboard in our kitchen a plan I'm going to attempt if nobody comments in an attempt to help me. Here's how it looks:

Sunday- kids (this means Nick is gone, so I'll resort to McD's or corn dogs)
Monday- Crockpot
Tuesday- Mexican
Wednesday- kids (Nick gone)
Thursday- Chicken (this is because of biking...I'll blog another time about that)
Friday- Italian
Saturday- American (hopefully grill in summer)

I thought maybe if I categorize like this and try to stick to it, I won't feel so overwhelmed or at a loss. However, if any of you have tried something like this and failed....let me know...save me the agony!

Dear friends....hear my desperate heart...I want to knock out some of my issues of struggling in my job one at a time. This is my first start! Thanks!