Good?

I just finished studying the part in the book of Romans that says that there is NO ONE Righteous.  NO, NOT ONE.

Keep this in mind when I mention these two question that have come up the past few weeks.....

My neighbor's house has been vacant since August.  I'm so.very.ready. for a new neighbor.  I've been so blessed with this little triangle around me and I see how God has richly blessed me with amazing friendships that are on such a deep level that I almost feel a void knowing there is a vacancy, which feels like a friendship not happening.

So, when I see people checking out the house, IF it's convenient... I make my way over for conversation (maybe I see now why it hasn't sold....chuckle!)  No, really, I've only had two conversations with people.

But, in one of those conversations the question was asked if the elementary school that we are zoned in is "good."  I quickly light up and say yes!  I let them know that I lead the prayer group for that school.  When immediately in my heart, I think of Sandy Hook Elementary.  Hmmmm.  Is any elementary school "good"?  Oooh, this got me thinking and a little sad.

The next instance was simply when I thought about an upcoming meeting with a mom whose baby I am about to become a nanny to.  When thinking about meeting with her, I actually had the thought, as fleeting as it was; "Is your baby a "good" baby?"  Yikes.

Who would ask such things?

Someone who wants a life of ease?  Someone afraid?  I'm not judging here as I was one of the ones who thought up such a question.

Don't get me wrong.  I know there are infants that cry a LOT and infants that are pretty laid back and not quite as needy and that is ultimately where the question derives from.  And I know that some elementary schools have better ratings than others.  But when I got to thinking about how all of us are born with a sinful nature and many in the world do not live lives that are controlled by the Spirit, then there are none good....that is apart from Christ!!!

How cool that we are cloaked in HIS righteousness!  The starting verse that I began this post with can make one feel depressed about the world....there is no ONE person that is RIGHTEOUS.  But, I leave you with this:
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them (the spirits that are not of God), because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."  1 John 4:4 (NLT)

Wow, I'm pumped!  Whether evil will happen at my kid's school, or whether the baby I take care of cries the entire time, I'm equipped.  He is greater and He lives in me!!!!  How thankful I am for Jesus and the perfect sacrifice He was for us ALL!

I am HEALED! It's a MIRACLE!!!

THREE weeks ago, I went to an appointment with my doctor to discuss possibly taking my other ovary as the EXACT same pain that I have had this entire past year was still plaguing me.  As I drove to the appointment I prayed that God would remind me of everything I wanted to talk to her about.  That I wouldn't get flustered like I normally do when she walks in.  As I was being led back to the room, the nurse told me I would be examined today and would need to undress waste down.  I really don't know why this caught me so off guard, but it did.

So, there I sat about as vulnerable as you can as I waited.  That's when the tears came.  I was sobbing as I started to put words with my feelings in my head.  I knew I wanted to say that I was angry that the pain was back, frustrated by the pain, scared that I would be judged as someone "claiming" to have "back pain" for pain meds, and in dire need of answers.  So, with a face that has been sobbing and wrinkled kleenex in hand, she finally came into the room.  {Oh, and I had prayed between sobs that God would be in that room and would bring to mind all that I wanted to share and that God would give her wisdom.}

One thing I did not ask God for that HE knew I needed was HIS PEACE.  She pulled up a chair and listened and asked questions and talked options and the more and more we talked about the specifics of it all, the more and more we had peace that this described pain wasn't in fact from the endometriosis.  She has even struggled with lower back pain in her personal life for years. Suddenly when we shifted to that, it was like a heavy load was lifted and I felt that we were finally on the right track as we talked about remedies of working out, stretching, taking anti-inflammatories and alternating with ice and heat.  That was one of the main things that clued us in.  Ice and Heat do not alleviate pain from endometriosis and it alleviated the pain that I had.

At this point, I feel HIS PEACE just fall on me.  I'm suddenly "all good" with it and ready to tackle it from a different angle.  No longer thinking about surgery or pain meds.  That's when she says she'd like to pray with me.  

Even now, the tears are triggered as I recall her complete submission to the Lord.  She asked for His Spirit to let her know if there is anything else she can or should do.  She prayed for healing.  That all the endometriosis she knows is there would be healed and gone.  That my one ovary would not cause any problems.  That I would have wisdom as I pay attention to triggers and so much more.  On and on she went as she held me, lifting me up before Our Father.  I am blessed!

I have Peace!

I have answers!

I am loved!

Since that day, the one particular spot in my back that was my problem has not hurt ONE time.  I believe that I have been HEALED.  God completely surprised me with this!  I was hesitant to say anything to anyone just in case the pain came back.  It hasn't and it is time for God to receive the deserved glory for healing me!!!!  I feel so personally and intimately loved by Him that how can I stay quiet about this?

For those of you that do know me and my back pain history, I just want to clarify...I still have a "bad back" :(  It's just in my genes, but the specific pain that I had for over a year that brought me to the two surgeries I had last year, is GONE.  To GOD be the GLORY!  Great and miraculous things He has done!

Blah

Between this last episode of Downton Abbey, reading through the book of Job and this dreary day where I'm required to stay and wait for a package to be delivered....I'm going to diagnose myself with a serious case of the blah's!

Although I wouldn't be totally truthful if I said it was JUST today and JUST because of those things.

It allowed for a great intro though.  At least, I think it did.  Sometimes these blah's that I get can simply come from the humdrum of life.  I don't like it one bit, but it's there.  

I get a numbness to the uncomfortable parts of life.  Actually it's a bit more like robotic than numbness.  I feel, therefore, I'm not numb.  But I go through the motions without an expression.

I have learned that reacting is just so darn tiring.  I'm tired of reacting.  In an effort to be more self-controlled, I just do whatever action is at hand without expression or feeling.  I stare off in to a distant place and just do the work.  It's like I'm just passing the time.

This is terrible stuff to confess, but it's really where I am.  The thing I fear most about being in this place is that the light at the end of the tunnel can't be seen.  

I agree

Click here if you accept the terms and conditions.  Yikes!  How many times have I clicked it and NEVER even opened the link to at least scan the terms and conditions.

I wonder how many things in our life we say that we agree to so we can really get what we want without ever reading the fine print to know the heart of the cause, to understand the legality of the issue or heeding the cautions that are given.

This takes my mind to the Word of God.  Too often, we call ourselves "Christians" but don't ever read the Bible.  How can we be a follower of Jesus if we don't listen to His words.  The Bible is God-breathed words to us.  I'm loving a new feature to the You Version Bible App that I just discovered.  It's the "Community" notes.  Some of them are just way "out there," but others.....wow!  What a blessing to hear what God reveals to others in the same reading that I have just read.  This feature is allowing me to spend more time in His word, digging deeper into meaning and understanding.

I probably will still quickly click the "I agree to the terms and conditions" box when it pops up in the future, but I do love where it got my mind going today.

HaPpY NeW YeAr!!

For one brief moment, I bought into the New Year hype.  I actually thought, "Maybe tomorrow will be different."  Here I am, tomorrow.  It's the same.  The same arguments are argued.  My mind is filled with the same thoughts from yesterday.  It is just another day.

However, God always meets me in my tomorrow and is always there in my today.  So, why would I want something different?  Why would I want a clean slate? A fresh start?  When everything continually builds to make me who I am today.  Yesterday's struggles and pains and joys make me the Me that I am.

Thank you, God for who You are.  That in the midst of discontentment, You reveal ways for me to have a contented spirit.  Thank you for the memories of 2012 that were both good and hard.  I am so blessed to have Your Spirit within me.

NYC

I've never been to NYC!  So, when something came up that would require Nick to go for work, I was quick to hop on that trip.  I'm so excited to finally go and experience New York.  However, I must say in that very same breath that I am overwhelmed.  Where do I begin?  I've been online and reading everything just makes me wish we could have even more time there.

So, I've resorted to using my blogpost as an outlet for my research.  Please, tell me your best advise on must see's and must do's during our time there.  We will be there mid October.

Oh, and when I went to ask my parents to watch our kiddos while we go, I discovered they'd never been either.  Thankfully we found friends to watch the girls so that the four of us adults can experience it together.

We'd love to see a broadway show and that alone I'm struggling with because of the reviews I've been reading.  I've ALWAYS been told how wonderful Wicked is, so that's the one I was shocked to read something negative about.  Mary Poppins looks great!  Anyone know anything about Jersey Boys or The Book of Mormon?  Any input is appreciated!!!!!

Time

All summer the hummingbirds have flocked to the feeders outside my window.  This morning is the first that I have heard their hum from inside my house.  That's right!  It's a quiet house that I'm sitting in.  School started this morning.


It's fun to see all the pics of kiddos wearing their backpacks, loading on buses with sharpened pencils and smiles on their faces.  There's a lot of talk of how time flies and don't blink because you just might miss it.

It's true that something crazy happens with "time" when the kids start school.  But logic tells me that time is all the same whether you stay at home with little pre-schoolers, following a schedule that includes naps and snack time and play dates, and bath time.  Or whether it's the long, hot days of summer.  Or sending a child to Middle School for the first time.... I know that there is always 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year, so nothing really speeds up.  So, why does it feel like they grow up fast?

Regardless of why it feels like that, I'm thrilled to watch my children grow each year!  The head taller, the teeth larger, their eyes smarter!  What a natural process to grow and change with each passing day.