In Everything Give Thanks!!!

If I had updated this blog every single time a change was made from my last entry, there would have been a LOT of posts that would have documented this journey in a different way. Since I didn't, I'll start with how I've felt holding all of this in.

This has been an incredibly difficult whirlwind of a roller-coaster ride we've been on. Once I began to process or even "deal" with our move, a change was made. Then a conversation took place, then a thought, then something to pray on, then a dangling carrot, then another offer, then.... well, you get the picture. It has been challenging to hang on and stay intact for the whole family.

So, with that said, I've just had difficulty existing in all of this myself that I have left NO room for anyone else to be caught up in the process.

May I first begin with saying that GOD is so Good! He alone is Good. I see His Goodness. I feel His Peace. I trust Him completely.

Okay, next I need to just state the news: We are staying in Oklahoma and taking a job here. Inevitably that leaves most people scratching their heads at what God was doing on the Colorado Springs side. Well, that's for another post.

For today, for this post, I want to explain about the process of making this choice.

Most people that know us, know that for six plus years, it has been our desire to move back to Colorado. It is where our hearts were. Or so we thought....

I must say that my heart is here. It is here where God has planted us and allowed us to grow in so many relationships and in so many different ways. Telling our news of moving to CO and watching bewildered faces was one of the first signs that maybe we weren't supposed to just up and leave. I can't tell you how overwhelming it was to watch people feel loss for us (as a family) when we shared the news.

Then, you have the whole timing issue of our recent move. I believe that God led us to this house on this street and in this neighborhood. We are unquestionably where God wants us in this place. I mean, really? We just moved here six months ago!
As we began praying specifically about a move to CO or staying right here where we are, God showed us how he was already at work in and through us, here in Edmond. At that point, we decided to pursue job opportunities we had heard about in OKC. In a way that only God can confirm a thing, He provided a job that was just that; a confirmation so BIG, so GLARING, so OBVIOUS that we couldn't miss it!

What a process! What a journey! So it is bittersweet to tell you how excited we are about our future here in OK while at the same time letting go of the idea of living in Colorado!

Stupefied!

stupefied-
1. Make (someone) unable to think or feel properly.
2. Astonish and shock.

This is how I feel. Stupefied. Nick is currently sitting at a desk in an office in downtown Colorado Springs. I am sitting at our house in Edmond, OK while are children are away at school. This school is a place where they will only be for 19 more school days. Then, I'll pull them out and drive them to Colorado on their "Winter Break" and start them at a school in CO.

Meanwhile, the clock ticks and I sit here stupefied. I'd write more about how I feel but the definition of the word alone reveals that I'm unable to even do that properly. I am astonished and shocked and cannot pinpoint my feelings.

We're moving. We've done that a lot, but never like this. Never this fast. Never this quickly after moving. Never in separate stages where he's there and I'm not. Never in the middle of a school year.

Don't know what else to say.

Holiday Plans

I don't even know where to begin. I am using this post to do an announcement that will save me many long phone conversations.... I'm not much of a phone person. I'll first list the facts for those that don't want long details!

The facts:

1. Nick resigned from his job on November 2.

2. Nick had an interview with a company in Colorado Springs on November 12.

3. November 13, today... we are deciding to take the job and try to do the move over Christmas Break.



The details:

God began working in Nick's heart about what he was made to do. He learned what he was not made to do, which is sales. Having an honest conversation with his boss, they mutually decided that he should no longer continue on in the job he was doing. This mutual decision did leave us high and dry and trusting God. I began to look at life with a different perspective. I grocery shopped with a mentality of necessity, not luxury. I flexed the trusting-God-muscles I had been training over the past two years in the book, "Trusting God" by Jerry Bridges.

It is so evident that the Lord's hand was orchestrating the details of getting this company in touch with Nick. Nick's entire purpose for this last job he was in (hind's sight) was to prepare and equip him to do the job he will be doing with this new company.

For six years we have lived in Oklahoma with a burning desire to return to Colorado. But now that it is here, we are definitely feeling the bittersweetness of such a desire being fulfilled. We LOVE the people we have been surrounded by and doing life with. My heart is so grateful for the relationships the Lord has allowed during my time here.

There is a temptation to give in to anxiety. Since I see God's Providential Hand in all of this, I choose to trust Him and trust the process of what He is doing. I feel like once I post this, it all becomes real and official. Wow! If you are reading this, please pray for our family over the next six weeks or so during this transition.

Hanging My Hat

In April of 2009, I watched my friend cross the finish line of a marathon and I was inspired. Most of you know that I went on to buy some running shoes and become a girls who runs. I began my year of 2010 with my first 1/2 Marathon in Austin, TX! Then I incorporated a local 10k into part of my training for the full marathon that I ran in April. And then, this past sunday, I ran another 1/2 in Denver, CO.



As this week has gone by, I've flipped through my running magazines to see if anything catches my attention for what's next on my running radar. I've concluded that it's time to hang my hat for events for 2010. It's been an amazing year and I hope to start topping this year with even better ones to come!

I've learned so much in devoting time to prepare for long distance running event. I know I've mentioned most of it here on this blog. Today, I'm thankful that I got to have a full year of health allowing me to be in a place where I could train for and complete such events.

God, thanks for allowing my body to perform these fun endeavors. Thank you for the wisdom that I've been exposed to just through the men that have devoted their lives to preaching your Word. I thank you for Andy Stanley, Matt Chandler and Francis Chan who have correctly handled your Word and been faithful to deliver the message you give to them week after week. Thank you for the technological advancements that allow me to have such sermons so accessible to me during the hours spent running. May I always hold running with an open hand to you. Take it away anytime you see fit. Allow me to continue to do it if it brings you the most honor and glory!

And, with that, my hat is hung for now ;)

Buddy Tape

Over the summer, on a water skiing trip, I sprained my finger. It only hurt right when I did it and I never thought about it again. Until I lifted pillows off of my bed and the finger easily slipped, straining that same ligament again. For months, I would "baby" that finger in hopes that I could quit re-inuring it. It kept happening and kept making me mad. At one point, I tried a finger splint but felt stiffening pain that just didn't feel right.

So, finally after three months, I had a "final blow" where I swiped it the wrong way and the pain told me that I was going to continue to sprain it all too easily if I didn't do whatever I needed to do to let it heal.

That day, I attempted to "buddy tape" my fingers. Two days later, I swiped it again WITH the tape on. That's when I realized I must have had it taped wrong. So, I googled how to buddy tape fingers together and did it as instructed.

Here is what is interesting to me about this whole ordeal. I've had a finger injury, a problem that has needed to be dealt with, since July. Only now, in October have I taken action and done something about it. Well, stiff taped up fingers, I have found is definitely something people notice and ask about. EVERYONE I see has asked what happened to my finger.

I find it curious in answering because I have injured it on so many occasions, I don't really know where to begin.

But, plugging this in to a spiritual analogy, I see that people can be walking around with all sorts of problems or injuries that need to be dealt with. When you finally see a splint or medical tape on them, it is the indicator that something has gone wrong and needs to be made right.

Something that no one knew I was suffering from or dealing with is now made known. Hmmm... how many of us see people every day and don't notice the ache or the actions that could reveal a need for some "buddy tape?" So, as my finger heals and the questions about it keep on coming, you can know that I have on my mind that we all need to bandage some other ache or pain in our lives to allow for healing to take place. :)

Sibling Rivalry Solution

Do you have siblings? Did you grow up not liking them then, but do now? I know everybody's story is different. Me? I am the youngest of four. They were mean to me. There was fighting. There was dislike among us. In fact, we didn't get to be friends until we became adults. So, why try so hard to get my children to get along and like each other when my story is similar to so many others?

I'd rather them just accept the not liking each other, but keep a peace in this home until they are mature enough to get along on their own doing. Forcing them to hug or say "I love you" or even look at each other with kind faces feels impossible.

So........

I came up with a saying that I hung on my refrigerator this morning. It can really be applied to any relationship we are currently in:



I wanted to say "You can't change each other", but I don't like using the "can't" word when teaching. So, we'll see how that goes. :)

Now I "Get It!"

I have struggled for years with having a goal of trying to be "Christ-like" in my actions. Seriously. I would try so hard to do things the way He did, or respond the way He would. You know the whole: "WWJD (what would Jesus do?)" thing. I have often thrown my hands up in frustration of why we go after the unattainable goal of trying to imitate HIM!

The exhaustion that comes from experiencing defeat in whatever area of weakness you have is overwhelming. I've accepted over the years that this is just the way it is.....


.....until now....


....I kind of want you to go download Andy Stanley's Character Under Construction (Part 2) from iTunes first and then read the rest of this...... He says it so well. I so "Get IT" now.

I can't do (fill in the blank), but HE CAN!!!! The key is to: ABIDE.

Stay close. Don't think in terms of imitating HIM, think in terms of uninterrupted fellowship! Stay grafted in so that He produces fruit THROUGH us, not IN is. It's about viewing your entire Christian life in pure relationship. Allowing Him to live His life through us. We have huge holes and gaps and flaws in our character and we can't bridge the gap. He can do it through us!

Three things to remember when thinking about "abiding":
1. Think and act relationally, not religiously.
2. Focus on association and not imitation. You can't imitate Jesus.
3. I can't, but HE CAN through me.

I know I can't be a great unselfish Mother. But, He can through me. I will wake up in the morning and not be surprised by the area of my "trouble". I know where I'm tempted. I will look at the potential battle and anticipate it and I will pray:

Lord, today I can't deal with being a mother. But, I know that you can through me. * Amen *