Ramblings

...I'm just having a hard time feeling like I have anything post-worthy to write about. I mean, I've been bouncing around in my head about how big of a wimp I am because I said all these great things about the stage of life I'm in and then the tantrums hit and my coping skills flee. I immediately go to that place in my head that says, "Survive this." Because I lived in a state of survival for so long, I leap back there when the going gets tough. And the tough is going. With a certain daughter just being plain, flat-out MEAN, I find myself getting MEAN. Here I am trying to teach her not to do the very thing I'm doing.

These summer days are sure different. It's like I need a "thing" to do each day just to keep us sane. I often wonder if we lived in Africa would we feel this same daily need of something? I see how one of my daughters is beginning to notice "America's" beauty and it makes me want to fly to a third world country today.

For now~ we'll keep playing Trouble and Go Taco (a version of Go fish from Taco Cabana!) And hit the pool when I feel up to it!

Being gone for 13 days

Much to post about....
First, I didn't take my camera, but I do have a few photos that I did get from cell phones and web sites of what we did for the remainder of the time at Frontier Ranch (YL camp.)


Here's Dad after rappelling!!!! That's right, my Dad, the one who just had the massive heart attacks! He hiked up and rappelled down and gained some serious confidence in the condition of his heart!















This is what I rappelled down right between both my Mom and Dad! (125 ft) *BIG GRIN*





This post is already long enough with the pictures. I usually try to keep mine short. But, now I've returned home and the piles of life are being tackled. I am evaluating what life will be like this summer. You see, this week-long camp experience was just a sample of what we'll be doing as a family for one whole month. Nick and I got to go without our children to learn about YL camp. Well, being spoiled up there now we know what it will look like. I'm both excited and nervous to do life at camp with the girls. I'm ready for them to be around the ministry of Young Life! We leave in less than a month.
I'm also contemplating changing the "about me" section of my blog to "a mom" instead of "a struggling mom" because I'm so enjoying the stage my children are in. As I sit between the laundry, cleaning, bills and to do's I have content children that are making fun, summer memories. My soul is delighting in this stage today!

Father, I am so grateful for the place in life that you have me. Thank you for allowing my soul to be in such delight today! <><

Frontier Ranch

So, in order for Nick to move on in some of his responsibilities with Young Life, we HAD to come up to a Young Life camp and be what they call, "adult guests." This is simply where we get to stay in some amazing accommodations and watch the behind the scene part of how they put camp on. Not only that, but also watch 400 High School students have the time of their life!

We are on Day 3 of 7 up here and it is an amazing experience. Just last night I ate a HUGE piece of HUMBLE PIE! Here I was, getting all puffed up that I had been up here before and knew X amount of the information being shared and blah, blah blah....I'm sure you can hear how horrible my heart was. The problem was that I didn't know I was in an arrogant place within. God ever so gently showed me and exposed me to myself. He gently leads you out of such a filthy place if you are willing. And, willing, I was. I am nothing and am worth nothing apart from Christ. He alone is good.

We got to go on a wrangler breakfast this morning. We woke up and headed to the stables where our horses awaited us. Riding them down to a fire pit where we ate and heard an interns' testimony. Then headed back up a trail. The weather was perfect! Nick and I brought our mountain bikes up here and plan to hit the Colorado Trail at some point this week!
But, more than all of these events I am seeing the work of Jesus through these Young Life staffers and leaders. It's truly amazing to watch His work fleshed out among His people!

Father, keep my eyes on You and my spirit ever so mindful of the students that are here this week. Many of them are getting glimpses of You for the FIRST time ever. May the seeds that are planted here at this time grow into a saving RELATIONSHIP with You. Thank you for being a God who PURSUES us. Pursue these kids this week and the weeks of summer camp to come! I love you and am so thankful for the blessing of this life experience! Amen <><

Back in Colorado

Well, I'm in Colorado once again! I love it. I miss it. I am thankful for trips like this where I'm able to spend an afternoon mountain biking with my husband!
We had so much fun together yesterday! It's great that when we fell in love, it was while hiking and snowboarding in the mountains and here we are 10 years later biking in the mountains and loving each other even more. I'm usually not all sappy on here. But, today, I have realized I have this amazing gift of a relationship with my best friend to be thankful for! More to come on our trip to Colorado!!!!

Consumed

Am I the only one out there that can get consumed with blogging? I feel like when I've spent too much time on here catching up on other people's blog, I need to cut it off completely. I know that everything needs to be in moderation. But, there are times that I know I've wasted time here in blog-land. I have taken a break from blogging to help that (and it did.) But, I guess I don't want to have to go to such extremes each time I've lingered too long on blogs.
For now, may I always keep in check my motives for even being on here in the first place. I desire growth. I long for this to be a place that is a healthy outlet for me to process things in life. May I not write for others, but rather for me to gain understanding and document important lessons learned.
I felt like this blog changed a bit for me after Dad was in the Heart Hospital. I used it to update everyone so they could know how to pray. Then, I used it to say where I was headed next and different things in between. I just have lost the focus of what I want this to be for ME.
As I prepare for a very busy and different summer, I love the idea that I'm redefining my purpose here. This journey through all these different stages in life can be forgotten. How cool, that I can look back and remember what the Lord has done for me!

Who am I?

I am ashamed of my last post. I won't delete it because I think transparency is beautiful. I can't even believe I complained in the slightest today. Due to transitioning computers I have not been reading all the blogs that I usually keep up with. I just spent the last half hour with such sorrowful tears for someone I don't even know. I've mentioned on a previous post for you to check out this blog for Leslie. Well, I just went and read everything this past month. Who am I to complain about any emotions? My gosh! I'm disgusted with myself and want all prayers and attention to be on this family. Please pray for Leslie, Tyson and T.J! Go to their blog archive and start at early May to know what they are facing at the end of a long 7 month journey.

Lord, I do pray that you will be their strength. We do know and trust that you are good. But, this doesn't look or feel good. Help them to know your promises so personally that they may carry Your truths and promises through this incredibly, difficult and dark time.

Emotional Wreck

I guess there are just days where coping skills are at a minimal. I'm having one of those days. To cry because things aren't going my way.....am I one of my own children? I tell them not to throw a temper tantrum and then I lose it the moment the waters get rough (however that may look.)
Right now I'm off to fix this mood of mine!